Saying goodbye: on endings and other reckonings
What a week: my 93-year-old father died, the finale of my podcast, and my one-year anniversary on Substack.
🎙️ A quick hello
Goodbye to my dad
My dad died suddenly last week, after a long decline. He was 93. It was expected, but it was still a surprise. It’s hard to wrap my mind around. He was a larger-than-life figure: always curious (his favorite word to describe himself), always asking contrarian questions, always humorous. He was a great friend and mentor to many, and perhaps better as a friend than a parent, but he was a singular inspiration to his four children, his nine grandchildren and his six great grandchildren. I wrote about the long vigil for my dad here and added him as “One more [b]old man” in last week’s post: Twelve [B]old Men Reflect on the Meaning of Old Age. It’s hard to lose both parents. My dad died on May 29, 2024; my mom on Feb. 14, 2023.
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My podcast ending means new horizons
I’ve published the last episode of my syndicated Apple podcast, [B]old Age. After five years and 120 episodes I decided it was time to focus all my energies on writing on Substack. On the podcast, I interviewed dozens of bestselling authors and intriguing experts and exceptional individuals. My goal has been to answer this question: how do you use the last stage of life to find meaning, to make a difference, and to create a legacy? Luckily, that’s a big and juicy question that has no end of answers. And luckily, there are different mediums through which to answer that question. Now that Substack has made it easy to embed audio and video, I will be adding more of those to my written posts, including some video Q&As. I started the podcast in early 2019 as a procrastination strategy to avoid writing. (I wrote about that here.) Now, I am writing! Even calling myself a writer, once again.
🎙️ You can listen to the final episode of my syndicated podcast here.
, the most frequent recurring guest, joins me in wrapping up five years. You can browse 120 episodes on Apple or on Substack.
Coming up in this newsletter
You can look forward to a revealing Q&A with the celebrated
, author of the Newbery Award-winning books for children, Number the Stars and The Giver, which many of you will remember.A recent episode of the podcast was a riveting conversation with journalist Steven Petrow about his sister’s decision to end her life via MAID, so I will tackle the issue of Medical Aid in Dying in an upcoming edition of Ask Debbie, with input from my physician husband.
Another upcoming post that’s been in the works for a while is a Writing Tip on what makes a great headline.
🎙️ A thank you and reckoning after one year on Substack
Exactly one year ago today, June 7, 2023, I published my first post on Substack: Moving to Substack + getting old in real-time. I noted that I’d been publishing a newsletter for over 20 years but that I was a bit tongue-tied with this debut. I explained:
“At 72, I want to look under the hood of aging—in real-time. I want to answer the question: what is it really like to grow old in a society that denigrates and devalues old people? Because I think we all want to know what aging is like… the good parts, the sad parts, the painful, the unexpected, the wonderful and more.”
One year and dozens of posts later, thank you for joining me in this important discussion about aging and old age with your many Comments and “likes” — especially in the Threads like this one. Your feedback and thoughts have created a real conversation, which is so much more interesting than one-way pontificating. I’ve never experienced this kind of connection with readers over decades of writing and publishing! Please keep talking back and thank you to
for enabling. 🙏 🙏Questions for readers
How do you handle bittersweet endings, like I’m experiencing with my podcast?
Have you got a question about [b]old age? I’d be honored to tackle it. It can be anything from the existential to the practical. You can submit a question via Ask Debbie.
Hi Debbie - I have found your Substack newsletter this morning via Notes and quickly realize that we are treading very similar ground! I'd love the opportunity to have a chat with you (via Zoom, of course) and explore the possibiility of having you as a guest on our weekly series, If you like, check out our content to date at theart2aging.substack.com. I think your views on aging and especially ageism would be valuable for our audience. If you want to reach me directly, my personal email is chrishenry8@gmail.com. Looking forward to hearing from you, Debbie! Chris Henry
Debbie, what a momentous time. No matter when you lose a parent, you’re never really prepared. And becoming an adult orphan is a shock at any age. Congratulations on a successful year of Substacking. You have made a wise choice, and I’m keen to see what you’ll tackle next.