Something Cellular: At 72, I'm Writing Again

A reader asks: How does the creative process change as you get older?

Dear Debbie,

I'm especially curious about the topic of "continuing creative pursuits as a [b]old person." How does the creative process (for lack of a better phrase) change over time, as one gets [b]older? I'm thinking about this for my own life and experience as well as more generally. -

Chris Guillebeau

My [b]old age journey started with a five-year project in procrastination. Technically that project resulted in a podcast, but my real motivation for launching such a massive creative undertaking was to quiet an interior voice that wouldn’t stop urging, “Debbie, you should be writing. Another book, anything. Just write.” I wasn’t ready to write, but a podcast fit the bill. 

So, about five years ago, I took an online “how to procrastinate podcast” course with Seth Godin; there I met my producer, Julie-Roxane Krikorian. With JR handling the tech side, we launched in January 2019 with a first episode about taking a gap year as a grownup. It’s still one of my favorites; I interviewed all three of my children about the gap years they took before starting college. 

My three children were the guests on my first podcast episode in February 2019.

Turns out, a podcast is very creative. At the age of 67, I was gratified to find that my skills as a reporter came rushing back. I researched, wrote compelling pitches for guests, polished show notes, conducted long-form interviews… feeling the same sense of pleasure that I had in my 30s and 40s. My creative itch was scratched and the voice in my head telling me to write had quieted.

Then, four years in, my mother died. A parent dying, no matter what your age, makes you question your place in the universe—a question often explored through art/creativity. This was the case for me, but the podcast, my only creative endeavor at the time, felt ill-equipped to hold my complicated grief. JR and I had gotten to know each other pretty well by that point, so when she said, “Why don’t you start writing again? For yourself,” I nodded. But if I were to write more, I had to stop expending all my creative energy on delving into the psyches of podcast guests and turn some of the question-asking on myself. 

“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” ― Joan Didion

Thus began a pivot in my creative process. I began writing on Substack in June of 2023 at the age of 71. It was hard, really hard. I’m a good writer, but I found myself struggling to articulate what I wanted to say. I can remember weeks last summer when I would write for hours during the day; then try to “fix” and complete what I was writing at night, in my dreams. It drove my husband crazy. “Why are you doing this?” he kept asking. “Isn’t the podcast more fun?” I had grown to accept that some podcast episodes were not “perfect,” but that was okay because I could move on and concentrate on the next one. As for writing, the stakes are higher because deep down I think of myself as a writer. I could not let go of the idea that each piece I write had to be perfect. I found myself wondering if I had lost my chops, if it was just too much effort, if I was simply too old to be a writer anymore.

What saved me, and possibly saved my marriage¹, was deciding to work with

Erin Shetron

as my editor.