The complicated vigil for my declining dad

My feelings are mixed as my 92-year-old father dwindles.

Update: my dad died six months after I wrote this, in May 2024. He was 93.

My almost 92-year-old mother died, rather unexpectedly, in February of 2023, leaving behind her husband of 72 years: my dad. My family was astounded. We expected our father to die first, as he has a host of underlying conditions including cardiovascular disease, Type 2 diabetes, and dementia. But here we are nine months later and my dad continues on, albeit in a very diminished state. He requires round-the-clock care (which, luckily, he can afford), and continues to sink into dementia. 

In other words, he’s a very old man in a fragile state. Nothing lies ahead except a gradual worsening of his condition — and then death. To see a once vibrant man totally disabled by the indignities of old age, particularly when it’s your parent, is hard. My dad is a shadow of the commanding figure he once was. Along with other members of my family, I am making regular trips to see him. Despite his dementia, he is still a good conversationalist, but it requires a good deal of patience to keep the conversation going and to respond again and again to the same questions. All this probably sounds familiar to anyone with a relative suffering from dementia.