Behind The Scenes with Steven Petrow

The bestselling author talks about how his sister, Julie Petrow, chose to end her life using Medical Aid In Dying

🎙️ Listen to this episode: Steven Petrow on His Sister Julie, the Importance of Choice, and Medical Aid in Dying

I first got to know Steven Petrow almost three years ago, when he came on the podcast to talk about his bestselling book: Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong¹. He’s a lovely guest, eloquent, respectful, and informed. And I loved his Stupid Things, which had me howling.

When I saw his startling essay about his sister’s death in The New York Times² several months ago, using MAID (medical aid in dying), I wanted him to come back on the show. I know a little bit about MAID through my husband

Sam Harrington

, who is a now-retired physician. Sam has told me how difficult it can be for the families of patients who choose to die this way. Nothing about end-of-life is easy or simple, he says.

“On the day before my sister Julie died, I lay down on her bed and held her gingerly in my arms, afraid that any pressure would hurt her. She had lost so much weight that she looked like a stick figure I might have drawn when we were kids. As her body had wasted, her tumors had grown — now several of them bigger than baseballs. Her abdomen looked like the lunar landscape, with protrusions everywhere, the sources of her pain plainly visible.” - Steven Petrow (The New York Times, Dec. 28, 2023)

Steven Petrow with his younger sister Julie Petrow.

After years of battling ovarian cancer, Steven’s adored five-years-younger sister Julie chose to die in her New Jersey home in June of 2023 by drinking a lethal cocktail. She was surrounded by her family. And it was legal, as she used a procedure called MAID or medical aid in dying, which is now legal in 10 states in the U.S. plus the District of Columbia.

But before she died, she made Steven, who is a bestselling author and a contributing columnist for The Washington Post, PROMISE to write about how she chose to die. Why? In order to raise awareness around MAID, a practice that many people don’t know about, or don’t understand, even though it was first legalized in Oregon, almost 30 years ago. 

So Steven did, publishing the essay about Julie and her decision in The New York Times. The essay got a huge reception and stirred interest, conversation, and over 600 comments.

In this episode, Steven explains more:

• What the term medical aid in dying means³ and what it is exactly (it used to be called physician assisted suicide, but a physician is NOT present)
  

• Why he thinks only 9,000 people have availed themselves of the procedure since it first became legalized
  

• Why it’s mostly used by educated whites (for one thing, the cocktail of lethal drugs cost $700 to $900 and is NOT reimbursable)

This is simply a fascinating episode and I hope you’ll listen to it.

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Please share your thoughts about MAID

If you are comfortable talking about it, I invite you to share your thoughts about MAID. Do you have any firsthand experience?

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… calling all [B]old Women

As some of you may have heard, I’ve decided to host an online home for [B]old Women. By that I mean women writers on Substack who are in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. Those in their 40s and 50s are welcome as well. It’s a work in progress but, if that’s you, I’d love you to introduce yourself in my most recent post and let me know any ideas or feedback you have on this burgeoning community—what you’d like to see, how you’d like to participate, etc. - Debbie

1. Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong by Steven Petrow (Citadel; June 29, 2021)

2. I Promised My Sister I Would Write About How She Chose to Die by Steven Petrow (The New York Times, Dec. 28, 2023)

3. Definition of Medical Aid in Dying