Pressing pause is hard. I’m doing it anyway.

🇫🇷 I’m stepping back to refind ease and relearn how to live in the moment.

I’ve been soldiering on recently, trying to prep several weeks’ worth of posts in advance of a long trip. It hasn’t worked—the soldiering on, I mean. I’ve done the planning and some of the drafting but it hasn’t led to the desired feeling of relaxation. Then it hit me. I’ve achieved the opposite. I’m depleted, not writing thinking clearly, and sorely missing the easeful feeling of creating in the moment. And I’m not LIVING in the moment either. I’ve fallen into a (Substack) hole of self-doubt editing and revising and tweaking, for hours. I’m out of sync with my husband (who really is my best friend). I’m not “there” for him because I’m not, well, there. Or maybe it’s “here.” You see the editing madness.

Pausing to relearn how to live in the moment

After a back-and-forth struggle, I’ve made a [b]old decision. I am giving myself permission to press pause. I want to get back to a more easeful and productive way of writing, and to clarity. I don’t think it will take long. I just need a timeout for a reset. I’ll be back every Friday, for the next few weeks, but with something short and fun. I’ll include photos of my trip to France; i.e. How [not] to keep a travel journal. And hopefully a tip or two about relearning how to live in the moment.

Here’s a spot in Paris where I share fond memories of my mother. We’ve just arrived and are reveling in how light it is at 7 PM.

Now that I’ve made the decision, I’m really looking forward to rediscovering the “present” moment by hanging out with

Sam Harrington

and some friends. In the pipeline (published now!) are two Q&A’s with [b]old women

Jessica Smock

and

Ramona Grigg

, and more. But your comments are the best fuel for a reset.

"Each decade has been a peeling away, like the layers of an onion"

Laughing at memes, writing through the pain, and tinkering at 86

Questions for readers

• How do you give yourself permission to press pause? Do you recognize when it’s time?

• How do you practice living in the moment? What does that look and feel like for you?

P.S. Thanks to the lovely [B]old Women who offered their own take on how to press pause in this thread. They influenced my decision.