Laughing at memes, writing through the pain, and tinkering at 86
A Q&A with Ramona Grigg, writer, activist, and gutsy woman
“I like the idea of being bold. I think it comes more easily after you’ve lived a life. You know what you’re capable of and you’ve grown a thick enough skin to not care as much what others might think.” -
As you may have heard, I’ve recently created a space for [B]old Women. If that’s you, please introduce yourself! My hope is that we can turn an informal discussion into a community for support and sharing for women writers in their 60s, 70s, 80s. There is no age qualification to participate, younger women are also very welcome, but I believe that older women share similar concerns (and delights) about old age. Please join below:
Q&A with [b]old woman Ramona Grigg
I don’t have a scientific method for choosing [b]old women to interview, but when I first met Ramona (or Mona, as she calls herself), I knew she was someone to get to know better. First of all, she’s very prolific, which I admire. She’s got two Substacks,
and and keeps up with both. Previously, she wrote a political blog, Ramona's Voices, from 2009 - 2021 (from Barack Obama’s inauguration to Joe Biden’s). Mona describes herself as “an essayist, a writer of things, an activist, a widow, an old person. Humor when life warrants it.” She’s ardently interested in both politics and the human condition. Some might describe her as feisty, but that word has a slightly pejorative sound when used for an old person. Instead I’ll say that she’s gutsy and inspirational, which is the perfect definition of a [b]old woman.DW: You’ve written that you are “now blogging from the boonies, where the air is clear, my heart is beating, and my BS meter works just fine.” Tell us about that. Where do you live and how does that impact your life and your writing? Describe the view from your writing desk.
RG: Right now I live on an island in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, but in less than a month I’ll be moving ‘below the bridge’ to Petoskey, a resort town on Lake Michigan. I can look out the window from my desk and see pine trees and the bay. Often I’ll see a couple of deer families that make our neighborhood home. Looking out that window you would never know there was civilization around. It’s going to be quite different when I move into a town! I’m curious to see if my writing will change when I become a townie. But this is an all-important election year so as the months go on, so will my anxiety level, and I’ll be writing more political pieces, hoping my BS meter has come along with me.
DW: What does [B]OLD AGE mean to you?
RG: I’m 86 years old but I don’t dwell on my age unless someone or something reminds me. I’m tired of hearing about how old Joe Biden is, for example, without also hearing about his energy, his stamina, and his many accomplishments. We don’t all age the same. Some people are old at 60. He’s doing just fine–and so am I. I like the idea of being bold. I think it comes more easily after you’ve lived a life. You know what you’re capable of and you’ve grown a thick enough skin to not care as much what others might think.
DW: Has your writing life (the process, the topics) changed as you’ve moved into [b]old age?
RG: I suppose it has. I’m freer now, I have more time on my hands, and while I miss my husband terribly (he died two years ago), I love that I can live alone with fewer distractions, and it definitely has given me more time to get better at the kind of writing I do now. My writing has become more personal. Friendlier. As if I’m talking among friends and not just readers. I think I came to that when I gave up the idea of becoming either rich or famous or both.
DW: How would you describe your sense of humor?
RG: Intact! I find something to laugh about every day and I love it when my writing turns to humor, even when I haven’t planned it. Funny memes crack me up, and I find myself laughing out loud in my quiet room all by myself. And then of course I have to share that meme and I get to laugh again.
DW: Do you consider yourself ambitious? Has your ambition changed as you’ve gotten older?
RG: I’m no longer ambitious and I can’t believe how freeing that is! Of course I would like to be better known and I would like to make more money at my writing, but I don’t write in order to accomplish either of those things. I’ve been a writer for many decades and often I had to write the way editors wanted it done. I don’t have to do that anymore and I like what I write so much better! So, I’m at peace with where I am as a writer. It’s a good place. And I love that others will hang around and share it with me.
DW: Do you have any advice on writing through pain?
RG: I did ask that question shortly after I became a widow. I didn’t think I’d be writing again for a long time afterward but I found there was solace in writing it out. I tried not to get too personal, or too maudlin, but my grief was palpable and everywhere and I had newsletters to maintain, so I wrote about my pain. It surprised me how many people could relate and were glad I was writing about it. It was hard at first, but after a while it felt natural, and since then it’s the writing style I’m most comfortable with. Often I can bring humor into it–something I never would have thought possible two years ago.
DW: What is your morning routine?
RG: I’m usually up by 7 AM. I get my coffee and a cookie or half a muffin, then I do Wordle, then I do Connections, and then I read my emails. If I’m getting a newsletter out that day, I’ve usually started it the day or the night before, so I can read it with new eyes the next morning and edit it before I hit ‘publish.’ I work best in the morning. My brain feels more engaged and I find I notice the problems earlier in the day.
DW: Do you journal? Do you write every day?
RG: I do keep a journal and I do write every day, but I don’t publish every day. I only publish when I have something to say. I don’t set a schedule but I try to post each of my two newsletters around once a week. Sometimes it’s more and sometimes it’s less, but I don’t ever start a post wondering what I’m going to write about. I usually have a dozen or so drafts started with ideas, sometimes formed and sometimes not. Sometimes all I have is a title! (I wrote about keeping a journal here.)
DW: You’ve written that you are an inveterate tinkerer with everything you write… so am I. Why is that?
RG: I’ve written before about rewrites and perfectionism. I stress these things because a) I’m a perfectionist, and b) I love to tinker with my work. Honestly, rewriting is my favorite part. I know some writers might think that’s crazy, but, for me, it actually makes writing easier when I go into it knowing I can write junk to start with and then polish it later. The ‘junk’ is the base. The rest is the art.
DW: What is your biggest regret when it comes to life or writing?
RG: My biggest regret as a writer is that I didn’t ever finish any of the novels I started. I have three of them, unfinished and in various stages, and I know they’ll never be finished now. There’s too much work involved, and I’m more attuned now to shorter pieces. But I really would like to be able to hold a book of mine in my hands and flip those pages and marvel at the fact that I wrote it!
Two questions for readers
Do you revise and tinker endlessly with something you’ve written?
When was the last time you laughed in a room by yourself?
1. Oh, yes. Far more of my writing time was spent revising than drafting.
2. Yesterday, while reading Calvin Trillin's latest book!
Very inspiring! And I also start the day with Wordle and Connections, but in a different order! Maybe it's because I live in Sweden under the Arctic Circle and the energies are reversed or something...