It was lovely to meet you with so little prior planning. I am a great believer in time on one's own, particularly for us long-married folk, whether in the home or outside it. It does give time to flex one's own peculiarities a little more, even though I (and doubtless you) don't feel constrained most of the time. I even wrote a post about it early on in my Substack career. I'm not sure if I am supposed to offer a link, but it is here https://arichardson.substack.com/p/finding-time-on-your-own and if you want me to remove it, I will.
Brava Debbie! Having traveled solo for many years, I have my own quirks and tips, but mostly, the freedom to stay and linger or pick up and move on keeps me enthralled with solo traveling. In fact, that is how I came to live in rural France all those many years ago--I lingered longer.
This is fun to think about! After being married a long time, I feel like I’m losing my muscle for doing things by myself, even though I love to be alone. Recently, I’ve been experimenting with going out to dinner on my own, to get my skills back. Love the solo trip you took. Thanks for sharing this!
Glad you had a trip that was simply magnifique! Loneliness really is more internal than external; we can be lonely in a crowd or satisfied in solitude. But it's not like there's a switch we can flip to make ourselves be not-lonely.
I love to travel alone. I think about what I want to do and make a schedule of sorts that I don’t follow. If I don’t know anyone in the city I’m visiting, which is usually the case, it gives me something to do if I run out of ideas while I’m there. It also helps me to get tickets in advance for the thing(s) I know I will do.
One thing I wish I’d have known, even though I looked into advance tickets for museums and such—my visits to Paris were more than 10 years apart—the metro/tram ticketing system had changed slightly. So I had some embarrassing moments on a tram but looked things up on the internet when I got to my hotel room. So next time I go I’ll research as much as possible on how to do the simple things I thought I knew.
Looooved this post Debbie! So nice to read your personal experience of being solo and free. I'm entering week 5 (the last one!) of being alone at home without my hubby (gone off to Peru for an off-grid personal pilgrimage) (meaning yes, that I haven't spoken to him in nearly 4 weeks). I thought it would be hard, and it's had its moments, but for the most part I have enjoyed the delicious freedom to go at my own pace, in my own little world, in my own home. What a rare treat!
ooo J-R, I am so happy to hear this. Knowing you, it sounds just right. And how wonderful to look forward to his return and all the stories he’ll have! xx
I travel alone a lot. Sometimes in a group tour, which means I'm not really alone, but then again, I'm not in charge of anyone except myself. Sometimes I travel alone to visit friends and family. Sometimes I travel alone to see new places. It's wonderful,
I actually prefer being alone on the plane part of a trip - talking to people, even a travel companion, takes up a lot of energy for this introvert. But the idea of being in a beautiful place and having no one to share it with is something I don't relish. I once was on a safari tour alone and everyone was posing in couples for photos and I felt very uncoupled.
Diana, I totally get that; being part of a “group tour” often creates camaraderie, but if not, it would feel awkward. Have you taken any other “non group” tours alone recently?
J, good point. I would feel the same, but walking alone in central Paris, where there are generally lots of people day and night, feels pretty safe. Though I was advised to hold onto my phone! Or put it away while walking.
This piece makes me so happy, Debbie. I love that you are marching along in the world, radically honest and adventurous. I feel the strength of your spirit from Paris to Kisco!
Hi Debbie--first of all--I love the green beret! I've been thinking a lot about solo travel recently. I too, traveled a lot solo when I was younger, but I've become so accustomed to traveling with my husband that now I have a lot of fear about traveling alone. Kudos to you for overcoming your apprehension and having a wonderful trip!
Sacha, I was truly surprised at how much I enjoyed this solo travel experience, after worrying about it. Funnily, it’s making me feel braver about a lot of things!
Most ALL of us in Ajijic ALSO love San Miguel de Allende.
To me, the cultures have a # of similarities.
I loved San Miguel beginning in the 1970’s -1980’s. But only began my literal exploration of Ajijic in late 2024.
One distinction in Ajijic (for me, at least) is I’m very pro continuing learning and we have LCS (Lake Chapala Society) headquarters/primary base here.
Since it so walkable to make access to classes & formal/informal coursework, my experience is it tends to draw Expats who also want to contribute to the Mexican culture and often grow into year-round vs Seasonal residents.
Fortunately, my Texas kiddos and 2 grandsons 25/22 years) all gained near Spanish fluency naturally in life/edu experience which has been helpful.
Debbie, lots of variables. of course. My favorite areas are 4ème, 5éme, 6ème arrondissements—what I call central Paris. So, the Marais and close by Left Bank. Can walk to the Musée d’Orsay, the Louvre, les Tuileries, etc. But that’s just me.
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!i8Z0!,w_80,h_80,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdaaca764-d8d6-4a1b-bf58-61dbb72810fc_842x842.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!fEcd!,e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95ad4442-e435-4ebc-a8d2-9c9b89a8bdb6_2100x400.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!i8Z0!,w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdaaca764-d8d6-4a1b-bf58-61dbb72810fc_842x842.png)
It was lovely to meet you with so little prior planning. I am a great believer in time on one's own, particularly for us long-married folk, whether in the home or outside it. It does give time to flex one's own peculiarities a little more, even though I (and doubtless you) don't feel constrained most of the time. I even wrote a post about it early on in my Substack career. I'm not sure if I am supposed to offer a link, but it is here https://arichardson.substack.com/p/finding-time-on-your-own and if you want me to remove it, I will.
I loved hearing that the two of you met up!
Ann. love your article. You spell out the logistics—and advantages—in your wonderfully calm and cogent style.
Brava Debbie! Having traveled solo for many years, I have my own quirks and tips, but mostly, the freedom to stay and linger or pick up and move on keeps me enthralled with solo traveling. In fact, that is how I came to live in rural France all those many years ago--I lingered longer.
Kate, what a great story! It sounds exactly like you!
This is fun to think about! After being married a long time, I feel like I’m losing my muscle for doing things by myself, even though I love to be alone. Recently, I’ve been experimenting with going out to dinner on my own, to get my skills back. Love the solo trip you took. Thanks for sharing this!
Mary, you put this perfectly: it’s a muscle that (older) women might need to strengthen. “Courage,” as they say in French!
Exactly! It does feel like losing a muscle in a way.
Glad you had a trip that was simply magnifique! Loneliness really is more internal than external; we can be lonely in a crowd or satisfied in solitude. But it's not like there's a switch we can flip to make ourselves be not-lonely.
Jenn, love this comment. Yeah, wouldn't it be great if there were such a switch...
I love to travel alone. I think about what I want to do and make a schedule of sorts that I don’t follow. If I don’t know anyone in the city I’m visiting, which is usually the case, it gives me something to do if I run out of ideas while I’m there. It also helps me to get tickets in advance for the thing(s) I know I will do.
One thing I wish I’d have known, even though I looked into advance tickets for museums and such—my visits to Paris were more than 10 years apart—the metro/tram ticketing system had changed slightly. So I had some embarrassing moments on a tram but looked things up on the internet when I got to my hotel room. So next time I go I’ll research as much as possible on how to do the simple things I thought I knew.
Oh what a magical trip! Thank you for including some bits I’ve learned along the way!! Onward :)
Looooved this post Debbie! So nice to read your personal experience of being solo and free. I'm entering week 5 (the last one!) of being alone at home without my hubby (gone off to Peru for an off-grid personal pilgrimage) (meaning yes, that I haven't spoken to him in nearly 4 weeks). I thought it would be hard, and it's had its moments, but for the most part I have enjoyed the delicious freedom to go at my own pace, in my own little world, in my own home. What a rare treat!
ooo J-R, I am so happy to hear this. Knowing you, it sounds just right. And how wonderful to look forward to his return and all the stories he’ll have! xx
I travel alone a lot. Sometimes in a group tour, which means I'm not really alone, but then again, I'm not in charge of anyone except myself. Sometimes I travel alone to visit friends and family. Sometimes I travel alone to see new places. It's wonderful,
I actually prefer being alone on the plane part of a trip - talking to people, even a travel companion, takes up a lot of energy for this introvert. But the idea of being in a beautiful place and having no one to share it with is something I don't relish. I once was on a safari tour alone and everyone was posing in couples for photos and I felt very uncoupled.
Diana, I totally get that; being part of a “group tour” often creates camaraderie, but if not, it would feel awkward. Have you taken any other “non group” tours alone recently?
I have traveled alone a few times. I enjoy it, but I do worry about my safety sometimes.
J, good point. I would feel the same, but walking alone in central Paris, where there are generally lots of people day and night, feels pretty safe. Though I was advised to hold onto my phone! Or put it away while walking.
This piece makes me so happy, Debbie. I love that you are marching along in the world, radically honest and adventurous. I feel the strength of your spirit from Paris to Kisco!
ooo Isabel, you are the best. we’ve got to plan an IRL Substack meetup! maybe nyc?
Hi Debbie--first of all--I love the green beret! I've been thinking a lot about solo travel recently. I too, traveled a lot solo when I was younger, but I've become so accustomed to traveling with my husband that now I have a lot of fear about traveling alone. Kudos to you for overcoming your apprehension and having a wonderful trip!
Sacha, I was truly surprised at how much I enjoyed this solo travel experience, after worrying about it. Funnily, it’s making me feel braver about a lot of things!
That’s fantastic!
This was really lovely, insightful and very helpful for planning a trip alone. Thanks for sharing all this with us, Debbie!
Connie, so glad it was useful. I debated about putting in links to specific things I liked. Figured readers would be interested, or could ignore!
Thoroughly enjoyable - and in my case, a lovely way over hot coffee to welcome a sunny morning peeping into being in Ajijic, Mexico.
Sherry, I’ve experienced the sunny mornings and blue sky of San Miguel de Allende — heaven. How lucky you are!
Most ALL of us in Ajijic ALSO love San Miguel de Allende.
To me, the cultures have a # of similarities.
I loved San Miguel beginning in the 1970’s -1980’s. But only began my literal exploration of Ajijic in late 2024.
One distinction in Ajijic (for me, at least) is I’m very pro continuing learning and we have LCS (Lake Chapala Society) headquarters/primary base here.
Since it so walkable to make access to classes & formal/informal coursework, my experience is it tends to draw Expats who also want to contribute to the Mexican culture and often grow into year-round vs Seasonal residents.
Fortunately, my Texas kiddos and 2 grandsons 25/22 years) all gained near Spanish fluency naturally in life/edu experience which has been helpful.
What’s your favorite area of Paris to stay? There are so many great options.
Sounds like you did a great job planning!
Debbie, lots of variables. of course. My favorite areas are 4ème, 5éme, 6ème arrondissements—what I call central Paris. So, the Marais and close by Left Bank. Can walk to the Musée d’Orsay, the Louvre, les Tuileries, etc. But that’s just me.
Debbie, you’re in Paris? Call me 06 23 32 15 37
not there right now; making a note of your number for next time!