Love letter from Paris

🇫🇷 the Seine at night, my sweetheart, Musée Carnavalet, my fave restaurant in the Marais…

Bonjour de Paris! J’adore cette ville, bien sûr pour sa lumière, mais aussi parce qu’elle me rappelle ma jeunesse et celle de mon mariage avec Sam. Cela fait plus de 51 ans que nous sommes ensemble, et, quelle merveille, Sam est encore mon amoureux.

Translation: Hello from Paris! I love this city, for its light of course, but also because it reminds me of my youth as well as the earlier years of my marriage to

Sam Harrington

. We’ve been together for more than 51 years, and, wonderfully, Sam is still my sweetheart.

My love affair with France began almost 60 years ago when I spent a year in a French boarding school at age 14-15. You can read about that here. It was an indelible experience, sharpening my appetite to become a different person by immersing myself in a foreign culture. Today, I speak French very well, although not fluently, but with a “perfect” accent that the French seem to appreciate. (Because I learned the language as a child, I acquired a native accent.)

As for my love affair with Sam, I was scarcely older when I met him in college, at age 19, and fell truly, madly in love. Our relationship has lasted for decades (54 years if you count the two years before we married). Like any marriage, we have had our share of ups and downs; more interesting is that every day is a negotiation between us. We are very different: I’m impetuous (driven by ADHD to think and talk quickly); he is more measured and much slower to speak and react. That causes a lot of problems; my quick reactions drive him crazy and he hates it when I interrupt him. He also complains that I spend too much time on Substack, writing, reading, commenting. I see his point. Publishing weekly on Substack is a commitment that requires time and focus. But these past few days in Paris have been an idyll of getting along, being in sync, and yes, still being in love.

… so consider this post a love letter to Sam, and to Paris. Below, in the photos, are a few of the things I love most about being here with him, along with a tip about my favorite tiny restaurant. Meet me in the Comments with your own tips about France, or your own take about the rhythm of long relationships.

A few of my favorite things

This view of the Seine at night never gets old. Our apartment is on the Ile de la Cité, in the building behind the big tree, on the left.

Sam, unaware of the camera, on the Paris métro. He’s 73, an old man, but still so handsome.

Musée Carnavalet is one of Paris’s marvelous, lesser known museums. It’s in the Marais, not far from the Musée Picasso.

We think of 1789 as the year of the French Revolution, but the political and social upheaval lasted much longer. Sam and I were fascinated by this meticulously curated exhibition at the Carnavalet which documents the tumultuous year of 1793-1794. This is the period when Jean-Paul Marat, one of the most outspoken leaders of the French Revolution, is stabbed to death in his bath by Charlotte Corday, who was executed by guillotine four days later. (The famous painting by Jaques-Louis David, or maybe it’s a copy, is in the exhibit.) Marat was a vigorous defender of the lower class, known as the sans-culottes (no breeches); so-called because they wore what we now call trousers, whilst the aristocrats wore knee-length breeches.

Au Petit Fer à Cheval is our fave little restaurant in the Marais.

Petit Cheval is a “service contenu” restaurant, meaning “continuous service,” so you can have lunch or dinner anytime; no res. necessary. (Otherwise, you must wait until 8 PM to make a dinner reservation in Paris; too late for us!) Squeeze in past the bar and you’ll find tables in the back. There are two specials every night: one meat, one fish; the fish is always delicious and fresh. Say hi to “Bouba” (the tall African and very friendly server) from me. 30 rue Vieille du Temple, 75004.

Dawn view of the Seine from our little apartment.

Questions for readers

• Do you have any tips about Paris or France that you’d like to share?

• What are your thoughts about long marriages or relationships? How is it possible to still be in love after half a century??

• What is the right amount of time to spend on all things Substack? Sam thinks I spend too much time here. What about you? Do you have a love affair with Substack?

If my writing resonates with you, I’d love to have you as a paid subscriber. Your support helps me continue the work of writing that matters, to me and to you. In addition, you will have access to my more personal and revealing essays and to Ask Debbie, where I offer in-depth answers to readers’ practical and existential questions about [b]old age. I recently addressed the question: “How will I cope if my husband dies?” - Debbie