Magic mushrooms for this [b]old woman? Maybe.

I’m learning about mushrooms as a way to ease fear of death, grief, and depression

This is one in a series of essays on what getting old is really like, from the blessings to the bullshit, from a 73-year-[b]old woman (me!). If my writing resonates with you, I would love to have you as a paid subscriber. When you upgrade, you can read my most personal essays here and here, as examples. You can sample my popular Q&As with [B]old Women here.

My fascination with the topic of psychedelic therapy was sparked back in 2019, after getting completely absorbed in

Michael Pollan

’s bestselling book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence¹. The sense of awe, connection and oneness with the universe Pollan described on his guided psilocybin² trip (it erased all fear of dying, he said) made me certain that I’d arrange this experience myself, should I be diagnosed with cancer or another illness with a terminal diagnosis.

More recently, as I think about my own mortality and that of those closest to me (such as how I’d cope if my husband died—more on this in an upcoming Ask Debbie), I’m increasingly curious about how I might deal with profound grief. Would I try a psilocybin trip? Or what about my current depression, which I’ve written about recently? Would I try microdosing magic mushrooms for that? Or ketamine³?

iStockPhoto: My jumbled brain in its natural state, no drugs necessary.

The growing movement to legalize psychedelic therapy

In my curiosity, I am continuing to learn more about the uses and benefits of psychedelics, as well as their misuse⁴. A number of U.S. states continue to introduce legislation to decriminalize, legalize and regulate the use of psilocybin for mental health therapy, but, so far, legalization of psilocybin has failed in all but two states, Oregon and Colorado⁵. I’m doing my research because I like to have a practical approach to all this, but it’s much more than that. I have unsettling questions: what will profound grief feel like (if Sam dies before me)? How will I cope? How will I survive? I keep the promise of a mushroom trip in the back of my mind as a way out of a very dark place, darker than I’ve ever experienced thus far.

My search for an expert to interview about older people’s use of psychedelics

It’s not lost on me that most people who share these concerns are older, like me. So, while I was publishing my podcast, I searched for an expert who would speak with me about the growing acceptance of psychedelics and how older people might use them. I even tried to make contact with Michael Pollan⁶ through his publisher, but (no luck). Finally a professor of neuroscience at U.C. Berkeley’s Center for the Science of Psychedelics pointed me to the perfect person to speak with on the topic of psychedelic therapy and older patients. Arizona-based Dr. Bree Johnston is both a geriatrician and palliative care physician and is certified in psychedelic therapies⁷. In this informative episode she explains everything you might want to know (and that I didn’t know) about the different psychedelics (MDMA or ecstasy, LSD, ketamine, ayahuasca, in addition to psilocybin), what their effects are, when they might be appropriate for older patients who are actively dying or who fear death, and what a safely guided trip is. She does not recommend ayahuasca, which makes you vomit as part of its purging and enlightening effect.

How to (legally) do a guided psilocybin trip in the U.S.

Dr. Bree reminded me that outside of Colorado or Oregon, where psilocybin therapy is legal⁸, the only way is to join a clinical trial at an institution like Johns Hopkins University or other research centers⁹, where psilocybin is being studied for its efficacy in treating depression, PTSD, and anxiety. In addition, her advice is to seek out a reputable and certified guide. As of this writing, it’s not legal in the state of Arizona, which means that Dr. Bree, although certified, is not allowed to provide guided trips for her elderly patients—to her great frustration, she told me.

Listen to my podcast that describes a guided psilocybin trip

🎙️ In this episode, a geriatrician vividly recounts what her guided mushroom trip was like; plus lots of useful links in the show notes.

Dr. Bree Johnston on Psilocybin Trips and the Growing Acceptance of Psychedelic Therapy

What about microdosing?

I have younger friends who use mushrooms fairly casually, so I was drawn to a terrific post by new Substack writer

Daphne Gordon

titled, ”What Your Mom Should Know About Microdosing.” That’s me, I thought! Gordon writes:

“Microdosing has become a popular thing to do in my social circles. And it’s no surprise: Grey market mushrooms are practically ubiquitous in my downtown Toronto neighbourhood. My friends openly share first-hand experiences with microdosing to enhance creativity, mood, and overall well-being.”

Then she goes on to explain what microdosing is:

“Microdosing involves taking small doses of psychedelic substances—like psilocybin mushrooms or LSD—to offer a mood boost without hallucinations. Typically microdoses are about lone-tenth the size of a full dose, and are taken every few days over a month or more.”

Microdosing sounds more appealing right now, but again, I want to learn more! In the meantime, I take CBD gummies to alleviate anxiety (especially recently). A marijuana high makes me feel more anxious, as opposed to relaxed, so I avoid the gummies with a CBD and THC¹⁰ (marijuana) combo, even though they are readily available in Maine, lining the shelf at our organic food co-op. 

But what about you? My questions for you today are to prompt a discussion about psychedelic therapies, as well as THC. Practical as well as deeper, existential responses encouraged.

Questions for readers

• Have you or anyone you know used psychedelic therapy to help with either grief or fear of dying? If you lost your spouse or were terminally ill, would you consider it?

• Have you tried microdosing? If so, how does it help you? What are the benefits for you?

• If you have taken a psychedelic mushroom trip, guided or on your own, would you recommend this to others, especially older persons?

1. Useful links to Pollan’s book, including a glossary, reading list and PDF excerpt.

2. Psilocybin is also known as mushrooms or magic mushrooms.

3. Ketamine For Depression: How It Works (Yale Medicine, March 18, 2024)

4. I listened with fascination to Power Trip, a New York Magazine podcast “on the darkest corners of the psychedelics revolution” (aka the misuse of psychedelic  therapy). 

5.  Psychedelic Legalization and Decriminalization Tracker

6. Don’t miss Michael Pollan’s The Microdose: This Week in Psychedelics on Substack, written by

jane c. hu

.

7. Via the Center for Psychedelic Therapies and Research.

8. While state laws are evolving, psilocybin remains classified as a Schedule I substance under federal law.

9. In addition to Johns Hopkins, psilocybin studies are underway at NYU, Yale, UCLA, UCSF, and Mass General.

10. As you may know, recreational marijuana can now be sold legally in 23 U.S. states through licensed dispensaries; the state of Maine is one of them. In addition, 38 states (plus Washington, D.C.) have legalized the sale of medical marijuana.