Debbie, I too have suffered from depression and am sorry it has come for you. The question you raise about feedback on your writing has my mind all abuzz.
Writing is lonely work, and it's hard to shake the doubt that anyone cares. I'm on Substack largely for the pleasure of connecting with readers (many of them writers) who appreciate my work and recognize themselves in the stories I tell. Knowing I have readers who look forward to the next post means more than I can say. Then there are all the other people, family members and friends, whose interest in writing is tied to results: a new book getting buzz in the media and a place on bestseller lists. I don't expect them to understand why I write or to take much interest in what I've written. My husband has told me more than once that while he thinks I'm a "brilliant writer," I should stop writing memoir and turn my attention to something more marketable. I have friends who tells me, more than a year after they bought my book, that they haven't read it, as if they fear I am anxiously awaiting their comments. Maybe they'll get to it eventually. But I strongly suspect they won't. They cared enough to help by purchasing the book, but not enough to give it their reading time. I suspect most writers have such friends.
The feedback that keeps me going has to come from the right people, whose minds are attuned to my concerns as a writer. These people don't include my husband or my son. I have a small virtual circle of writer friends who enjoy reading work in progress and will cheer me on. I'm happy to do the same for them. Do you know writers you can ask to read an essay or meet for the occasional Zoom? I'm guessing that you do. And I am here to tell you that it helps.
Rona, what wonderful (and helpful) thoughts. I'm so glad to hear that it's not just me with a matter-of-fact husband! I do get a lot of feedback from readers (and writers) on Substack so I don't, for the moment, feel the need to create another circle of readers. I also have an amazing editor, Erin Shetron, who is the best sounding board and who encourages/nudges me to keep going.
Oh Debbie! We should be friends. I live in Vermont but visit Stonington most summers...for a week, too short, the place is magical! I imagine myself there through a winter of writing and staring at the foggy ocean. ❤️🦞
But that's not what you asked. I plug away at my newsletter, turning the dials to find an audience, frustrated that I care about progress as measured in numbers. (Still! At 62, measuring my worth by someone else's scale.) If my family reads it, they don't say much, except for my sister who never fails to support me. But my family, even my close friends, are not really the audience I want to reach. I write for a version of myself. The one who seeks, like you, to be [b]older!
P.S. This summer was tough for me. Too hot, too much. Too much self-pressure to write the damn book already, and a list of other projects as long as my arm. And, then, of course, the whole world. 😥I was glum, depressed as well, paralyzed. Digging myself out of it by literally cleaning out my files and folders, tossing out lists of what I should be doing, and asking this question every day in my morning pages: What life do you really want? ❤️☘️
Catherine, love this: "turning the dials to find an audience, frustrated that I care about progress as measured in numbers." That resonates! Writing a "damn book" is such a big undertaking. I know that as a nonfiction editor and also as an author. I don't want to presume, but maybe you could be intentional about taking the summer off from the book project - ?? Isabel Cowles Murphy wrote a terrific post on this very topic: https://thenobletry.substack.com/p/if-youve-written-a-bad-book
Great advice. I've actually taken the summer off from the book and a few other writing related things. I can feel my bones making space to restart very soon.
I think your idea of telling non-writer friends that you’ve worked all summer on writing a **bestselling** online newsletter about (b)old age sounds perfect! I find that even when non-writer friends want to be supportive, they’re not sure how to do it. But tangible things like a book contract, bestseller status, or a milestone number of subscribers give those concrete thinkers something they can recognize. My sweet brother doesn’t give a hoot what I write (as far as I know), but if I tell him that 100 more people subscribed, he sends me lots of applause and champagne emojis. 🤭🥳😆
What would your neighbors think if you handed them a pretty little card with your Substack url after you told them what you’re up to? “Here’s where you can find me writing about (b)old age if you’re curious.” ?? (It works for Diamond Michael Scott.) 🤷♀️ Wishing you the comfort of autumn soon!
Tara, I think you've nailed something here. My "non-writing" friends, acquaintances, and family do seem to respond better to a "tangible" definition of success as a writer: numbers, dollars, public recognition. I've been writing and editing for so many decades, and am also a published author, but many people I know here in Maine don't know that. I'm not ready to say that I'm "working on a book" but that would probably get more of a reaction.
Every summer I feel a little sad and unmoored. Debbie, I thought it was just losing the guardrails that give me time to write (namely: kids in school!) but your piece helps me appreciate that this might be a natural response to the languid, blowsy season. Maybe this is just what summer IS: a little dense, a little loose, just unstructured enough to make the musculature of writing feel impossible. And when writers can't write with their usual vim and vigor, well... womp womp.
Isabel, I just commended one of your posts to Catherine H. Palmer, above (the one about intentionally putting aside the manuscript of your novel this summer). There's something about that intention that feels very powerful. I was going to say that I can't wait until you pick up the manuscript again, but what I really mean is that I / we CAN wait... I trust your instincts! Love all your descriptors about what summer can feel like for a writer: dense, loose, unstructured...
Perhaps what you're describing is quite common amongst our immediate people? My close family are tuned out of my newsletter for the most part and most of my patients don't know I have one despite me putting up occasional notices in my office about it. It's only if I specifically tell them I think they would enjoy it that most take an interest.
Such a tender share, Debbie - sending care and hearts to you.
My parents read my newsletter, but for a long while it was probably with trepidation - to check whether I’d shared anything they consider embarrassing. No family members really know what "Substack" is when I mention it, ha. My dad once said something along the lines of: "Why do you focus on the negative? Most people aren’t thinking about their emotions all the time." Of my three sisters, one unsubscribed. I’m not sure how much the other two read.
Among my closest friends, two read my newsletter regularly. One of them sends a super-supportive, glowing email full of validation and praise every couple months - I read it at least twice and sometimes take screenshots. Other than that, I don’t really EVER talk about Substack outside of Substack! Even my other writing work (as a freelancer, which makes up most of my income) feels like something that people in my "real life" just don’t get.
Dana, you always make my day! And even more special is that it's now your "night" in Thailand. A couple of things I love in your comment: your dad remarking that you focus on the negative and "your emotions." Yes, I've gotten that too. This might be an example of "horses for courses" (see Caroline Anne's comment). For some of us, revealing what we're really feeling makes us feel human and connected. For others, who are not self-reflective, it doesn't make sense. Second, taking a screenshot of a glowing email from your friend... YES!! Did you print it out and post it next to your laptop?!
Yes - I keep it on my laptop! Ultimately, my dad’s comment makes me heartbroken for him. He is, in fact, an extremely "negative" person - it just takes the form of constant anger, not acknowledged grief or emotional reflection. My writing, understandably, makes him uncomfortable. Oh, how I wish he was able to let his own emotions in more fully. But also, I understand that he is how he is for a reason - the walls didn’t appear out of nowhere. Thank you again for this place of discussion and reflection, Debbie. I deeply appreciate your writing!
I’m coming back to say that, actually, despite my downer of a comment, I’m truly grateful my parents read my newsletter. Even if they don’t "get it," it’s such a gift that they open, read, and are gaining a whole window into who I am that they wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Thanks for opening this discussion and prompting these thoughts, Debbie!
Dana, yes that is cause for gratitude. My older daughter surprised me this AM a few minutes after this post went out in an email. She texted: "I read your post! I validate you! You are a writer!" And yup, the exclamation points mean she is teasing me a bit. But it was so nice.
I suspect a man would get a different response to a comment about writing. Strange isn’t it?
Down here in Australia, we have Christmas in summer. I’ve heard that many understandably get stressed and depressed by the strains and absences of Christmas. (Your own dealings with visiting relatives is a similar situation.) I hadn’t thought about reverse SAD being a contributing factor. It can be so very hot here and many would struggle with that too. Food for thought.
Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes dear Debbie. We do appreciate you. Hopefully it won’t take you too long to feel positive once more. Take care my dear. 🤗🤗
Beth, you are right about Christmas in Summer... mandatory togetherness plus heat and humidity are rough on those of us with chronic illness. I love my ‘rellos’ (mostly) but having to perform regardless of spoons adds stress which sucks spoons. Maybe we’ll have a mild day in the 20s for 2024. We can hope.
Yes, every Monday I do write a weekly Substack newsletter (Memoirist in the Museum). Some of my friends do know this, and are kind enough to read it. One or two (real stars!) actually comment. But I don't tell most people that I write anything at all. For some reason to tell people I write feels to me like standing in front of them in my underwear. And not the nice underwear either, the old stuff. I think it is just too revealing to tell people.
I have frequently said, at the moment that I had a book coming out (I write nonfiction, including some memoirs) that I would rather walk down the street stark naked! But then I get over it. I have certainly published some very revealing stuff, including an interview with Debbie with ‘enjoying sex' in the title. But I genuinely don’t care now. One of the joys of being 82.
Rose, the underwear metaphor is such a good one. It does feel like that! I find it's two impulses at once: both wanting feedback and being recognized as a writer, and at the same time being terrified of getting feedback that is critical. Honestly, I receive both... and it's probably a good thing. The less fulsome praise often gets me thinking in a new way.
Hi Debbie, This summer I volunteered at Camp Good Grief, a camp for children age 5-17 who have lost a parent or sibling in the past year. Your description of how you are feeling reminds of an art therapy project everyone participated in…Each person was given a white mask. On the outside of the mask they were to draw how they think the world sees them. On the inside of the mask they drew how they were really feeling inside.
175 masks later a sobering story was shown. The process of grieving is a tough one, for all ages. Take care, XoCooky
Cooky, what a perfect art project and how wonderful that you volunteered. The feeling inside my mask is not so bad; I don’t think it compares with acute grief. Miss you! xx
My sister is a fan, and my proofreader/editor. My 6 adult children don’t care, don’t read it or if they do, don’t mention it. If my children wrote one I’d want to read every word. Why is t the opposite true. I was thrilled when my 17 yr old granddaughter subscribed. But these aren’t the ppl I write for. It is women my age who have followed my career as an artist since I began a blog back in the early 2000s, which became a newsletter, then disappeared sometime around 2018 or so. But my list remained and when I began writing again on Jan 1, 2024 I was welcomed back by many and through Substack structure and popularity my list continues to grow. I may mention it socially occasionally but they’re not my people, so I don’t really care. I’ll be 72 in 3 months and am happily writing AND making art. I just figure they’re missing out on the best parts of me. Those of us at the (b)old age know better. Thanks for sharing your summer self and keep up the great work/writing you put out there for us.
I feel this in my bones and soul, Debbie. I've been haunted by clinical depression since my teens, but this still resonates deeply. The feeling of disconnection is spot-on, and I finally realized my "issue" after this week's reading deprivation (and with a serendipitous twist, reading this essay). Thank you for sharing! You are not alone.
I say I write a weekly column online. Sometimes I say essay, but I think of what I do as a cross between the Times book review and the newspaper column Anna Quindlen used to write called Living out loud. I too am often disappointed by how little reaction I get , but when I ask folks to click on the heart, they do! But not the next week unless I ask again. lol.
I love the cooler weather and find summer depressing. My body swells in the heat and humidity and headaches roll in. Re your weekly newsletter - it is disappointing when something which is so important and essential to you can't be shared with close family and friends. I think it's a case of horses for courses and ensuring you mixi with like-minded people. All the best.
Caroline Anne, "horses for courses" was a Brit idiom I had to look up! It's perfect: different people for different situations or what's fitting in one case may not be in another.
I'm an Aussie with British heritage. I'm pleased you looked up its meaning. Being a writer or a painter can be such a solitary business until we find our tribe. Ginninderra Press published my first memoir, 'Pumpkin,' (Caroline Anne Butt) and they're publishing my second one,'The Steering Wheel' early next year. I'm enjoying your newsletter and I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you.
The response to writing is pretty much the same one I get. I’ve attributed the lack of response to the other not knowing what to ask me (and not because I’m invisible). If I say something like “I’ve been publishing a weekly newsletter with my essays” people are still a bit too surprised to know what to ask. Maybe instead you might say “I’ve been writing chapters for my new book”.
I’ve never found that getting angry or using anger to express myself is useful. Instead, I tend to withdraw my caring about that person’s response / reaction to me.
Teyani, I'm pretty sure I'm not writing chapters for a new book... at least not yet! So I'm okay not saying that. As for anger, in Week 4 of "The Artist's Way," Julia Cameron talks about how anger can be fuel; it's a source of information and can give you direction. She's not really talking about "expressing" anger. The book / course are intriguing.
Just one more thought .. sorry I was not more clear about my meaning. I didn’t mean to imply that you should tell an untruth and say you are writing a book when you are not, I just was making up an example of conversation that others (non writers) might respond to more easily.
I simply don’t think that telling people that I am writing gives any kind on conversation starters to others.
I also find it difficult to get friends and family to care. I realize some are not my audience. They don’t read lol. Or they don’t care about personal essays. They are too busy with their lives. This lack of interest hurts but I do realize that my audience must live here on substack somewhere. Not within my personal circles. Thank you for sharing this. You’ve inspired me to go back to the artist way and to do an artist date.
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb939748d-5d80-4d0f-867c-2ed252ac633c_1344x256.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdb1d7636-a0e5-44ef-846d-a6df558eff16_1280x1280.png)
Debbie, I too have suffered from depression and am sorry it has come for you. The question you raise about feedback on your writing has my mind all abuzz.
Writing is lonely work, and it's hard to shake the doubt that anyone cares. I'm on Substack largely for the pleasure of connecting with readers (many of them writers) who appreciate my work and recognize themselves in the stories I tell. Knowing I have readers who look forward to the next post means more than I can say. Then there are all the other people, family members and friends, whose interest in writing is tied to results: a new book getting buzz in the media and a place on bestseller lists. I don't expect them to understand why I write or to take much interest in what I've written. My husband has told me more than once that while he thinks I'm a "brilliant writer," I should stop writing memoir and turn my attention to something more marketable. I have friends who tells me, more than a year after they bought my book, that they haven't read it, as if they fear I am anxiously awaiting their comments. Maybe they'll get to it eventually. But I strongly suspect they won't. They cared enough to help by purchasing the book, but not enough to give it their reading time. I suspect most writers have such friends.
The feedback that keeps me going has to come from the right people, whose minds are attuned to my concerns as a writer. These people don't include my husband or my son. I have a small virtual circle of writer friends who enjoy reading work in progress and will cheer me on. I'm happy to do the same for them. Do you know writers you can ask to read an essay or meet for the occasional Zoom? I'm guessing that you do. And I am here to tell you that it helps.
Rona, what wonderful (and helpful) thoughts. I'm so glad to hear that it's not just me with a matter-of-fact husband! I do get a lot of feedback from readers (and writers) on Substack so I don't, for the moment, feel the need to create another circle of readers. I also have an amazing editor, Erin Shetron, who is the best sounding board and who encourages/nudges me to keep going.
Oh Debbie! We should be friends. I live in Vermont but visit Stonington most summers...for a week, too short, the place is magical! I imagine myself there through a winter of writing and staring at the foggy ocean. ❤️🦞
But that's not what you asked. I plug away at my newsletter, turning the dials to find an audience, frustrated that I care about progress as measured in numbers. (Still! At 62, measuring my worth by someone else's scale.) If my family reads it, they don't say much, except for my sister who never fails to support me. But my family, even my close friends, are not really the audience I want to reach. I write for a version of myself. The one who seeks, like you, to be [b]older!
P.S. This summer was tough for me. Too hot, too much. Too much self-pressure to write the damn book already, and a list of other projects as long as my arm. And, then, of course, the whole world. 😥I was glum, depressed as well, paralyzed. Digging myself out of it by literally cleaning out my files and folders, tossing out lists of what I should be doing, and asking this question every day in my morning pages: What life do you really want? ❤️☘️
Catherine, love this: "turning the dials to find an audience, frustrated that I care about progress as measured in numbers." That resonates! Writing a "damn book" is such a big undertaking. I know that as a nonfiction editor and also as an author. I don't want to presume, but maybe you could be intentional about taking the summer off from the book project - ?? Isabel Cowles Murphy wrote a terrific post on this very topic: https://thenobletry.substack.com/p/if-youve-written-a-bad-book
Great advice. I've actually taken the summer off from the book and a few other writing related things. I can feel my bones making space to restart very soon.
I think your idea of telling non-writer friends that you’ve worked all summer on writing a **bestselling** online newsletter about (b)old age sounds perfect! I find that even when non-writer friends want to be supportive, they’re not sure how to do it. But tangible things like a book contract, bestseller status, or a milestone number of subscribers give those concrete thinkers something they can recognize. My sweet brother doesn’t give a hoot what I write (as far as I know), but if I tell him that 100 more people subscribed, he sends me lots of applause and champagne emojis. 🤭🥳😆
What would your neighbors think if you handed them a pretty little card with your Substack url after you told them what you’re up to? “Here’s where you can find me writing about (b)old age if you’re curious.” ?? (It works for Diamond Michael Scott.) 🤷♀️ Wishing you the comfort of autumn soon!
Tara, I think you've nailed something here. My "non-writing" friends, acquaintances, and family do seem to respond better to a "tangible" definition of success as a writer: numbers, dollars, public recognition. I've been writing and editing for so many decades, and am also a published author, but many people I know here in Maine don't know that. I'm not ready to say that I'm "working on a book" but that would probably get more of a reaction.
Every summer I feel a little sad and unmoored. Debbie, I thought it was just losing the guardrails that give me time to write (namely: kids in school!) but your piece helps me appreciate that this might be a natural response to the languid, blowsy season. Maybe this is just what summer IS: a little dense, a little loose, just unstructured enough to make the musculature of writing feel impossible. And when writers can't write with their usual vim and vigor, well... womp womp.
Isabel, I just commended one of your posts to Catherine H. Palmer, above (the one about intentionally putting aside the manuscript of your novel this summer). There's something about that intention that feels very powerful. I was going to say that I can't wait until you pick up the manuscript again, but what I really mean is that I / we CAN wait... I trust your instincts! Love all your descriptors about what summer can feel like for a writer: dense, loose, unstructured...
Perhaps what you're describing is quite common amongst our immediate people? My close family are tuned out of my newsletter for the most part and most of my patients don't know I have one despite me putting up occasional notices in my office about it. It's only if I specifically tell them I think they would enjoy it that most take an interest.
Such a tender share, Debbie - sending care and hearts to you.
My parents read my newsletter, but for a long while it was probably with trepidation - to check whether I’d shared anything they consider embarrassing. No family members really know what "Substack" is when I mention it, ha. My dad once said something along the lines of: "Why do you focus on the negative? Most people aren’t thinking about their emotions all the time." Of my three sisters, one unsubscribed. I’m not sure how much the other two read.
Among my closest friends, two read my newsletter regularly. One of them sends a super-supportive, glowing email full of validation and praise every couple months - I read it at least twice and sometimes take screenshots. Other than that, I don’t really EVER talk about Substack outside of Substack! Even my other writing work (as a freelancer, which makes up most of my income) feels like something that people in my "real life" just don’t get.
Dana, you always make my day! And even more special is that it's now your "night" in Thailand. A couple of things I love in your comment: your dad remarking that you focus on the negative and "your emotions." Yes, I've gotten that too. This might be an example of "horses for courses" (see Caroline Anne's comment). For some of us, revealing what we're really feeling makes us feel human and connected. For others, who are not self-reflective, it doesn't make sense. Second, taking a screenshot of a glowing email from your friend... YES!! Did you print it out and post it next to your laptop?!
Yes - I keep it on my laptop! Ultimately, my dad’s comment makes me heartbroken for him. He is, in fact, an extremely "negative" person - it just takes the form of constant anger, not acknowledged grief or emotional reflection. My writing, understandably, makes him uncomfortable. Oh, how I wish he was able to let his own emotions in more fully. But also, I understand that he is how he is for a reason - the walls didn’t appear out of nowhere. Thank you again for this place of discussion and reflection, Debbie. I deeply appreciate your writing!
I’m coming back to say that, actually, despite my downer of a comment, I’m truly grateful my parents read my newsletter. Even if they don’t "get it," it’s such a gift that they open, read, and are gaining a whole window into who I am that they wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Thanks for opening this discussion and prompting these thoughts, Debbie!
Dana, yes that is cause for gratitude. My older daughter surprised me this AM a few minutes after this post went out in an email. She texted: "I read your post! I validate you! You are a writer!" And yup, the exclamation points mean she is teasing me a bit. But it was so nice.
Oh, I love that so much, Debbie!! Imagining it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.
I suspect a man would get a different response to a comment about writing. Strange isn’t it?
Down here in Australia, we have Christmas in summer. I’ve heard that many understandably get stressed and depressed by the strains and absences of Christmas. (Your own dealings with visiting relatives is a similar situation.) I hadn’t thought about reverse SAD being a contributing factor. It can be so very hot here and many would struggle with that too. Food for thought.
Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes dear Debbie. We do appreciate you. Hopefully it won’t take you too long to feel positive once more. Take care my dear. 🤗🤗
Beth, Christmas in summer is such an odd thought. But absolutely yes, a double whammy! TY as always for your good words.
Beth, you are right about Christmas in Summer... mandatory togetherness plus heat and humidity are rough on those of us with chronic illness. I love my ‘rellos’ (mostly) but having to perform regardless of spoons adds stress which sucks spoons. Maybe we’ll have a mild day in the 20s for 2024. We can hope.
Let’s hope. All the best. 🤗🤗
Yes, every Monday I do write a weekly Substack newsletter (Memoirist in the Museum). Some of my friends do know this, and are kind enough to read it. One or two (real stars!) actually comment. But I don't tell most people that I write anything at all. For some reason to tell people I write feels to me like standing in front of them in my underwear. And not the nice underwear either, the old stuff. I think it is just too revealing to tell people.
I have frequently said, at the moment that I had a book coming out (I write nonfiction, including some memoirs) that I would rather walk down the street stark naked! But then I get over it. I have certainly published some very revealing stuff, including an interview with Debbie with ‘enjoying sex' in the title. But I genuinely don’t care now. One of the joys of being 82.
Love this!!!
Rose, the underwear metaphor is such a good one. It does feel like that! I find it's two impulses at once: both wanting feedback and being recognized as a writer, and at the same time being terrified of getting feedback that is critical. Honestly, I receive both... and it's probably a good thing. The less fulsome praise often gets me thinking in a new way.
Hi Debbie, This summer I volunteered at Camp Good Grief, a camp for children age 5-17 who have lost a parent or sibling in the past year. Your description of how you are feeling reminds of an art therapy project everyone participated in…Each person was given a white mask. On the outside of the mask they were to draw how they think the world sees them. On the inside of the mask they drew how they were really feeling inside.
175 masks later a sobering story was shown. The process of grieving is a tough one, for all ages. Take care, XoCooky
Cooky, what a perfect art project and how wonderful that you volunteered. The feeling inside my mask is not so bad; I don’t think it compares with acute grief. Miss you! xx
My sister is a fan, and my proofreader/editor. My 6 adult children don’t care, don’t read it or if they do, don’t mention it. If my children wrote one I’d want to read every word. Why is t the opposite true. I was thrilled when my 17 yr old granddaughter subscribed. But these aren’t the ppl I write for. It is women my age who have followed my career as an artist since I began a blog back in the early 2000s, which became a newsletter, then disappeared sometime around 2018 or so. But my list remained and when I began writing again on Jan 1, 2024 I was welcomed back by many and through Substack structure and popularity my list continues to grow. I may mention it socially occasionally but they’re not my people, so I don’t really care. I’ll be 72 in 3 months and am happily writing AND making art. I just figure they’re missing out on the best parts of me. Those of us at the (b)old age know better. Thanks for sharing your summer self and keep up the great work/writing you put out there for us.
I feel this in my bones and soul, Debbie. I've been haunted by clinical depression since my teens, but this still resonates deeply. The feeling of disconnection is spot-on, and I finally realized my "issue" after this week's reading deprivation (and with a serendipitous twist, reading this essay). Thank you for sharing! You are not alone.
I say I write a weekly column online. Sometimes I say essay, but I think of what I do as a cross between the Times book review and the newspaper column Anna Quindlen used to write called Living out loud. I too am often disappointed by how little reaction I get , but when I ask folks to click on the heart, they do! But not the next week unless I ask again. lol.
I love the cooler weather and find summer depressing. My body swells in the heat and humidity and headaches roll in. Re your weekly newsletter - it is disappointing when something which is so important and essential to you can't be shared with close family and friends. I think it's a case of horses for courses and ensuring you mixi with like-minded people. All the best.
Caroline Anne, "horses for courses" was a Brit idiom I had to look up! It's perfect: different people for different situations or what's fitting in one case may not be in another.
I'm an Aussie with British heritage. I'm pleased you looked up its meaning. Being a writer or a painter can be such a solitary business until we find our tribe. Ginninderra Press published my first memoir, 'Pumpkin,' (Caroline Anne Butt) and they're publishing my second one,'The Steering Wheel' early next year. I'm enjoying your newsletter and I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you.
Maine is so beautiful this time of year.
The response to writing is pretty much the same one I get. I’ve attributed the lack of response to the other not knowing what to ask me (and not because I’m invisible). If I say something like “I’ve been publishing a weekly newsletter with my essays” people are still a bit too surprised to know what to ask. Maybe instead you might say “I’ve been writing chapters for my new book”.
I’ve never found that getting angry or using anger to express myself is useful. Instead, I tend to withdraw my caring about that person’s response / reaction to me.
Teyani, I'm pretty sure I'm not writing chapters for a new book... at least not yet! So I'm okay not saying that. As for anger, in Week 4 of "The Artist's Way," Julia Cameron talks about how anger can be fuel; it's a source of information and can give you direction. She's not really talking about "expressing" anger. The book / course are intriguing.
I agree it’s a super book. I used it for decades 🤗
Just one more thought .. sorry I was not more clear about my meaning. I didn’t mean to imply that you should tell an untruth and say you are writing a book when you are not, I just was making up an example of conversation that others (non writers) might respond to more easily.
I simply don’t think that telling people that I am writing gives any kind on conversation starters to others.
I also find it difficult to get friends and family to care. I realize some are not my audience. They don’t read lol. Or they don’t care about personal essays. They are too busy with their lives. This lack of interest hurts but I do realize that my audience must live here on substack somewhere. Not within my personal circles. Thank you for sharing this. You’ve inspired me to go back to the artist way and to do an artist date.
Julie, keep going! I love your story (award-winning actor, songwriter, two tiny children, etc.). You've definitely got an audience (including me).
I’ve just reported and blocked the SPAMMING impersonator. The one with a small w and a tick is the one to Report and Block.
thank you @Beth T (BethOfAus) - I’ve changed my password and am working to remove all the fake comments. UGH.