I love this interview and everything Val says in it. I follow her Substack and think it’s terrific, and it’s very cool seeing the two of you together! What Val said about connecting our concerns with aging to our fear of death is so true. I also think that for women in particular there is a sense that we should be able to prevent signs of aging through effective “self-care,” and there is an anticipation of judgment for us not managing this bodily maintenance effectively. So, I’d say that in addition to fear of death it’s also shame and self-judgment.
Karen, this is so well said. The “shame” piece is especially relevant, I think. As in, how did I let this aging thing happen to me?? And then comparing oneself to friends… do I look younger than so-and-so?? As if that’s some kind of “win.” I am going to work on mirror meditation!
I do this too. Those people are MY age? I look far younger, I say to myself. Do I? I don’t know. How do I make peace with aging? I don’t know. Reading Valerie Monroe helps ( and I just found you) but I’ve been so inculcated with the demand to look younger and prettier, it’s hard to shake. I have done anything to myself except for retinols and good skincare, but it’s hard to age gracefully. I’m still working on it. Menopausal weight gain is probably the hardest.
To go out exploding with gratitude! This is brilliant, Val! As is the mirror meditation. Thank you for sharing her with us, Debbie. ♥️
I’m with Val. I’m not sure there is a clear definition of “ aging naturally.” and I believe each of should do whatever works for us to feel compassion toward ourselves and others and as good as possible in our own bodies as we age.
Loved reading You x Val, Debbie! As for the mirror and seeing my aging face, I have to admit that I spend less and less time looking in the mirror as I get older (and generally prefer to avoid mirrors and cameras). I’m much more at peace when I focus on how my body feels (rather than how it looks) and take care of it each day through supportive food, movement, meditation, and other practices that have a huge impact on my body and mind.
As a mega fan of Val’s, I love this interview! I’d never read that a book had been a possibility but I can envision it…anything to get more women to embrace the luxury that is getting old and not flinch at the vernacular associated with aging.
Thank you for this! I'm 61 and recently started coloring my hair again. I won't say I regret it--yet. But...looking at photos from a year ago, well, I didn't look all that bad. I guess I started looking scraggly when I stopped getting my hair cut and maybe that's what I should have started with...
Debbie and Val, thank you for this great interview and lovely picture. I have a sense there is no in-between with taking ourselves seriously when we are younger. We likely fail to do so or overdo it and miss all the good stuff of being a young adult. Like you, Val, I opted for the fun part. It is also my goal to carry as little as possible (which was very inconvenient when I had a baby and all the paraphernalia!
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_80,h_80,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdaaca764-d8d6-4a1b-bf58-61dbb72810fc_842x842.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdaaca764-d8d6-4a1b-bf58-61dbb72810fc_842x842.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F95ad4442-e435-4ebc-a8d2-9c9b89a8bdb6_2100x400.png)
I love this interview and everything Val says in it. I follow her Substack and think it’s terrific, and it’s very cool seeing the two of you together! What Val said about connecting our concerns with aging to our fear of death is so true. I also think that for women in particular there is a sense that we should be able to prevent signs of aging through effective “self-care,” and there is an anticipation of judgment for us not managing this bodily maintenance effectively. So, I’d say that in addition to fear of death it’s also shame and self-judgment.
Karen, this is so well said. The “shame” piece is especially relevant, I think. As in, how did I let this aging thing happen to me?? And then comparing oneself to friends… do I look younger than so-and-so?? As if that’s some kind of “win.” I am going to work on mirror meditation!
Yes, me too! And we need to always remember that life is about constant change and we can’t control that even though there is a fantasy that we can.
Karen, we can’t wait for you to start writing!! 🔥🔥
Thank you so much Debbie!
I do this too. Those people are MY age? I look far younger, I say to myself. Do I? I don’t know. How do I make peace with aging? I don’t know. Reading Valerie Monroe helps ( and I just found you) but I’ve been so inculcated with the demand to look younger and prettier, it’s hard to shake. I have done anything to myself except for retinols and good skincare, but it’s hard to age gracefully. I’m still working on it. Menopausal weight gain is probably the hardest.
To go out exploding with gratitude! This is brilliant, Val! As is the mirror meditation. Thank you for sharing her with us, Debbie. ♥️
I’m with Val. I’m not sure there is a clear definition of “ aging naturally.” and I believe each of should do whatever works for us to feel compassion toward ourselves and others and as good as possible in our own bodies as we age.
Holly, that’s my favorite phrase from Val, too!
Loved reading You x Val, Debbie! As for the mirror and seeing my aging face, I have to admit that I spend less and less time looking in the mirror as I get older (and generally prefer to avoid mirrors and cameras). I’m much more at peace when I focus on how my body feels (rather than how it looks) and take care of it each day through supportive food, movement, meditation, and other practices that have a huge impact on my body and mind.
Dana, yes “how my body feels” is so much more important. Have to keep reminding myself…
As a mega fan of Val’s, I love this interview! I’d never read that a book had been a possibility but I can envision it…anything to get more women to embrace the luxury that is getting old and not flinch at the vernacular associated with aging.
Thank you for this! I'm 61 and recently started coloring my hair again. I won't say I regret it--yet. But...looking at photos from a year ago, well, I didn't look all that bad. I guess I started looking scraggly when I stopped getting my hair cut and maybe that's what I should have started with...
Debbie and Val, thank you for this great interview and lovely picture. I have a sense there is no in-between with taking ourselves seriously when we are younger. We likely fail to do so or overdo it and miss all the good stuff of being a young adult. Like you, Val, I opted for the fun part. It is also my goal to carry as little as possible (which was very inconvenient when I had a baby and all the paraphernalia!
Thanks Donna… my pocketbook / backpack is pretty heavy; might have to rethink that!
This is a lot of fun to read! Val is wise, and I appreciate her clarity about what she does and doesn’t want to do.
Thank you, Debbie, for this interview.
Loved every word! And so fun to see you both together in Tokyo!
Debbie, thank you for this lovely feature--and for our Tokyo tea time! I hope you're both recovering swiftly. xo
thanks Val - Sam and I are both feeling better!
Really enjoyed this❤️❤️
Really lovely piece, thank you.
Lovely to read this
Earthy wise and fun
Gracefully? Ha
Thank you both
thank you Prajna; enjoyed your Oldster interview!
What a fun interview! I have to go find Valerie now. Thanks, Debbie!
Hey, Valerie, regarding your morning routine...no red light therapy? Vitamin C Serum? Lymphatic massage? Geez! :)
Evelyn, hahhhahahahaha! xo