Shit happens: I fell smack on my face on the sidewalk

My mouth is scabbed, my lips swollen, my wrist sprained, but there’s a bigger wake-up call.

I am still trying to say those words, “I am an old lady,” without being ageist, without assigning them a negative connotation.

One of the pleasures of living in a city are amenities like ice cream and coffee shops, a variety of ethnic restaurants, museums and so much more. But in beautiful coastal Maine, where we live, the few little shops and restaurants on Main Street (no Thai or sushi) start closing one by one in October. Our quiet little town becomes even more quiet as the summer people leave and year-rounders hunker down for biting cold wind, steel gray chop in the harbor, and a 30-minute drive or longer to the next bigger town… for amenities. Now that we’ve decamped to New Haven¹ for a stretch, I was really looking forward to a quick, easy walk to get a dish of mint chocolate chip ice cream, a sweet treat I planned to fully enjoy, on the advice of [b]old writer Abigail Thomas. 

It didn’t turn out that way.

When I took a brisk post-dinner stroll to New Haven’s downtown Ben & Jerry’s, a short walk I’ve taken a dozen times, I tripped on an uneven patch of sidewalk and fell hard, smack on my face. Two attentive bystanders rushed to help me up, inquiring if I needed an ambulance. Stunned, I declined. I was too shocked to feel that my mouth was abraded and bloody, and my wrist severely sprained. 

Post-fall with my 14-year-old granddaughter

Even more disconcerting, this picture didn’t fit with the [b]old, strong woman I carry in my head. Instead, it belongs to a different self-image, one that I’m only gradually accepting: I am an old woman. I am still trying to say those words, “I am an old lady,” without being ageist², without assigning them a negative connotation. It’s hard for me to say and to admit to, so conditioned am I by society’s attitude towards older folks, and especially, old women.

I am very lucky; it could have been so much worse: a broken wrist, broken teeth, a concussion. And I have a ready excuse: I blame the fall on my wonky vision (I have no depth perception, among other problems) and on not treading carefully enough. But there’s more to this unfortunate incident.

A wake-up call

This fall is a blunt reminder that I am not exempt from the risks of old age, and that I am more vulnerable and frail at 72 than I care to admit. 

Of course, you can make the argument that shit happens; life contains the unexpected for all of us. For a few moments, this is how I comforted myself. I even went back to where I fell; it was driving me crazy trying to figure out how on earth I’d tripped. It felt like an impossible mistake, a freak accident that could’ve happened to anyone.

I discovered the one-inch bump in the level of the sidewalk that prompted the fall.

Yet while this fall felt shitty and completely unexpected to me, it really wasn’t; at least not statistically. Multiple studies show that women over the age of 65 are at high risk of falling, leading to injury, hospitalization, and even death. The reasons include reduced muscle strength, osteoporosis, environmental hazards, and of course, poor vision. So while I like to think of myself as on the youthful side of “young-old,” and certainly more [b]old than old, this is partially a delusion. 

It’s time for me to accept the fact that I am vulnerable, I’m a member of an at-risk demographic: I must get a better prescription for my glasses; I must make sure to pay attention to every step I take, and I must put more effort into balance and strength exercises (including yoga). I’m not so stubborn that I can’t make the necessary adjustments (no more looking at my iPhone while I’m walking³). What is more scary, I’m realizing, is to forge ahead as I have been, then fall again only to face far worse consequences. So I’m going to embrace this new reality, because, in this newsletter and in life, my mission is to be honest, brutally realistic, and open to new ways of living fully in my [b]old age.

Questions for [B]old Women (or anyone): 

• If you’re older like me, how much do you take your age into account when you get injured or have an accident?

• Have you had any “wake-up calls” about your age? What were they?
  

• Have you fallen in the past year?

1. When not in Maine, we stay in a high-rise apartment in New Haven, Connecticut, home of Yale University but, more importantly, where four of our grandchildren live.

2. Oct. 9, 2024 was Ageism Awareness Day, to highlight and refute the stereotypes of how we think, how we feel, and how we act towards others, or ourselves, based on age; being ageist can apply to attitudes towards the young as well as the old.

3. Ugh, this habit is surprisingly hard to break.