I write letters to my wife. She keeps everything i write to her. On our 25th anniversary (2009) she surprised me with a book of my selected letters. She designed the book with a graphic designer. Scribbled notes, postcards, various hotel stationaries, all sorts of media. It's a beautifully designed book.
When she gave me the book as a gift, i told her "you win," meaning I'd never be able to give or receive a better gift.
Good inspiration for sending more letters. Thanks Debbie!
Not quite as often as I used to. They've always been letters about what's going on in our lives. And letters of love. The themes are pretty consistent. She's observed that as the time i spend writing on Substack has increased, the letter cadence has slackened.
Erin, good reminder to write a letter today! A handwritten one.
Yes and yes. It matters not if the recipient gave up paper and went to email, thinking that's the same. I'm glad for any response. I'm still going to write the letters. Some children loved going to toy stores when they were in grade school. My jam was the stationery stores with so many wonderful papers, envelopes and pens. Nobody, yet or ever, told me they did not like getting a real letter, with envelope and stamp. I still think it's the best bargain in America. Who else is going to take my letter and transport it all the way across the country and deliver it for a few cents?
Georgia, yes! "The best bargain in America," and maybe in other parts of the globe. Although I know that stamps can be very expensive in other countries. One note: it's so tempting to think that email is the same because it's still writing words. I don't think it is... even if you were to print emails out, the "stash" wouldn't be as magical.
The year my Mom turned 90, before the dementia took her 100%, I asked friends of all levels to send her a real birthday card. I'd been documenting our life via Facebook (now, here). She recieved over 75 cards, along with flowers, stuffed animals and hand made trinkets. She's 94 and some of the cards are still on the wall. She doesn't notice them anymore, but I do. My two favorites are hand made - one from a friend who drew Mom's two favorite stuffed animals and had them wishing her the best; the other from a young autistic boy in our building who had taken a shine to her.❤️ Every one of them touched my heart and yes, I have them all saved in a box.
What a wonderful story, Jodi. My mom has dementia. Last year I noticed she’s hung letters I’ve written to her at various points (eg, one from 20 years ago thanking my parents for fronting my grad school application fees) on the wall of her sewing room. It was such a tug to a different past to see she’d kept that letter - and displayed it in the place she feels most like herself - all these years.
This is a lovely reminder. We’ve been doing a Swedish Death Cleaning at our house in preparation to move to something more manageable. We recently found a trove of handwritten letters, postcards, and cards that I haven’t been able to let go of. I have friends who wrote me lengthy (5- 7- pages, sometimes more!) on a regular basis for years. Most special: the tactile reminders that my husband wrote me *daily* letters in the year before we got married. [swoon]
I love this! I’ve kept letters from old friends, from my brother when he was in boot camp (40 years ago), and notes from my (now grown) children.
I have one friend from elementary school who, like clockwork, sends a card with a handwritten note for holidays, birthday, and random special occasions (she sent me a card when I bought my new house a few years ago even though we haven’t seen each other since high school in 1985). From what I gathered, she does this for most of our elementary and highschool group who she was able to keep in touch with.
I think it’s time I sent a few cards out myself. Thanks for the reminder!
I love this hard! I do hand write letters to a few woman ‘round the world. Two, in particular, whom I’ve really connected with. My once architect’s worthy cursive has degenerated with age and arthritis etc. so now I print but ‘tis a labour of love! In fact, I’m going to write a letter to one today! It’s guaranteed to be 6-10 pages, and we both will write over several days if needs be. I’m always so excited to get a letter in return! And I do keep them — every last one!
Growing up I moved around every couple of years and kept in touch with friends via letters. At first it started as complaints about how much everything about my new home sucked. The new school, the kids, how much I missed everything. And then I’d make friends and the letters would be less often. And then we’d move again and the cycle would continue. I still have the letters I received somewhere. Although I don’t write letters so often, I still send cards just because. (Ironically I don’t do Christmas cards - never get around to it) and when I travel I love sending postcards. I’m always reminded of a college friend who during finals week sent us all a postcard of our school’s library with the words “having a “wonderful” time wish you were here.
Hi Maryse, love that you’ve kept your letters! I forgot to say that I ALWAYS send Xmas cards (nowadays with a photo of our grandchildren). By now it’s a habit… not sure it counts in the same way as a handwritten, personal letter.
I always mean to send Xmas cards. Then think “I’ll send new year’s cards” then valentines but it never happens. Maybe it’s the feeling of obligation that turns me off. And I guess I could send pictures of my cats 😂
Hi Debbie! Handwritten letters are wonderful. There's a hunger out there. A while back I did the Letter A Day project, where I wrote one letter per day to anyone who asked. Our local paper in Atlanta covered it, the story got syndicated, and I ended up with more than 600 requests from 39 states and 17 other countries. Unexpected benefit: a huge quantity of replies!
Randy, what a cool project! I have a soft spot for Atlanta as I lived there for five years and started my journalism career there, first with the Jonesboro News Daily (now https://www.news-daily.com/) and then with The Atlanta Constitution. Have you now written more than 600 letters? What kind of people requested them? From different countries? Did you have a "template" for answering?? Just curious! Seems like a project that could yield some interesting insights!
Yes, I love writing and receiving handwritten letters! I have decluttered over the years, but hang on to the letters. They’re so valuable in jogging my memory and helping my writing practice.
I love handwritten letters so much that I even keep one from someone from the state. Long story short, I was dealing with two agencies who were not communicating, so I skipped the line and wrote to one “out of sequence.” The reprimand was a full page of scratchy writing, but someone took the time to be angry with me.
I love all of this, as someone who was an avid pen pal as a teenager after my best friend moved away. I send cards to friends and family all the time and still send them to my boyfriend even though we live together because he told me he likes getting them. He’s a minimalist and doesn’t keep too much but has all the dozens of cards I’ve sent him and many are displayed in our glass-topped coffee table.
omg Rachel, love this!! love that you’re still writing cards, that your boyfriend is a minimalist, and that you display these missives under glass — what a cool idea!! Also, a huge thank you for becoming a paid subscriber. It means the world. 👏🙏
Loved this in every way, yes! I still write notes and letters but not as often as I’d like, this is a lovely reminder and a testament to how much impact sending and receiving a physical message can have. I do keep letters and cards, and my favorites are from my mum, who passed about 3 years ago. Even a short note in a birthday card means so much, she was funny and irreverent and I want to keep that going. ✍️
What a cool idea Debbie! I still write letters! I have a 96-yr old cousin who is sharp as a tack and now my oldest living relative. We 'correspond' on a regular basis. She loves receiving my letters and I love getting hers! It's such a wonderful, now old-fashioned, way to communicate. Of course, I AM a Gemini (we rule the written word, thanks to the god Mercury being our 'ruler,' so maybe it was 'written in the stars.'
Jeanine, interesting about the Gemini Zodiac sign! I did a bit of research and it sounds perfect... "Quick-witted and loose-tongued, language is the province of Gemini who is adept at writing poems, impersonating strangers, and committing perjury all with a characteristic flourish." Whoa... would love to get one of your letters!
I’ll work on it ! Do u remember the god Mercury from Greek gods? He was the prankster and the messenger god. The other parts—pretty funny! Mercury rules the sign Gemini.
Yes and yes. I still write letters, and I keep them. It gives me comfort to read my late mum’s handwriting, same for reading my grandmother’s and grandfather’s words.
As a teenager, I had a penpal in West Germany. We had met briefly and exchanged addresses when I was an exchange student in 1982. I kept all his letters (with cartoon drawings, cassettes of Neue Deutsche Welle music, anti-nuke stickers, etc.) in a shoebox.
Many years later, I found out that he had kept all my letters and drawings in a box, too.
Our 17-year-old son does not quite know what to make of these artifacts.
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb939748d-5d80-4d0f-867c-2ed252ac633c_1344x256.png)
I write letters to my wife. She keeps everything i write to her. On our 25th anniversary (2009) she surprised me with a book of my selected letters. She designed the book with a graphic designer. Scribbled notes, postcards, various hotel stationaries, all sorts of media. It's a beautifully designed book.
When she gave me the book as a gift, i told her "you win," meaning I'd never be able to give or receive a better gift.
Good inspiration for sending more letters. Thanks Debbie!
I love this story! How often to write her letters these days? What kind of letters are they?
Not quite as often as I used to. They've always been letters about what's going on in our lives. And letters of love. The themes are pretty consistent. She's observed that as the time i spend writing on Substack has increased, the letter cadence has slackened.
Erin, good reminder to write a letter today! A handwritten one.
ooo David, your Debbie is THE BEST.
Yes and yes. It matters not if the recipient gave up paper and went to email, thinking that's the same. I'm glad for any response. I'm still going to write the letters. Some children loved going to toy stores when they were in grade school. My jam was the stationery stores with so many wonderful papers, envelopes and pens. Nobody, yet or ever, told me they did not like getting a real letter, with envelope and stamp. I still think it's the best bargain in America. Who else is going to take my letter and transport it all the way across the country and deliver it for a few cents?
Georgia, yes! "The best bargain in America," and maybe in other parts of the globe. Although I know that stamps can be very expensive in other countries. One note: it's so tempting to think that email is the same because it's still writing words. I don't think it is... even if you were to print emails out, the "stash" wouldn't be as magical.
The year my Mom turned 90, before the dementia took her 100%, I asked friends of all levels to send her a real birthday card. I'd been documenting our life via Facebook (now, here). She recieved over 75 cards, along with flowers, stuffed animals and hand made trinkets. She's 94 and some of the cards are still on the wall. She doesn't notice them anymore, but I do. My two favorites are hand made - one from a friend who drew Mom's two favorite stuffed animals and had them wishing her the best; the other from a young autistic boy in our building who had taken a shine to her.❤️ Every one of them touched my heart and yes, I have them all saved in a box.
Jodi, this is so wonderful. what a beautiful and meaningful idea you had… and it’s still reverberating. I should have mentioned that lasting impact.
What a wonderful story, Jodi. My mom has dementia. Last year I noticed she’s hung letters I’ve written to her at various points (eg, one from 20 years ago thanking my parents for fronting my grad school application fees) on the wall of her sewing room. It was such a tug to a different past to see she’d kept that letter - and displayed it in the place she feels most like herself - all these years.
Mine kept the letter I left when I ran away from home at 11. (They got me back the same day, I didn’t get far). 🤷🏼♀️
This is a lovely reminder. We’ve been doing a Swedish Death Cleaning at our house in preparation to move to something more manageable. We recently found a trove of handwritten letters, postcards, and cards that I haven’t been able to let go of. I have friends who wrote me lengthy (5- 7- pages, sometimes more!) on a regular basis for years. Most special: the tactile reminders that my husband wrote me *daily* letters in the year before we got married. [swoon]
yes! ❤️❤️
I love this! I’ve kept letters from old friends, from my brother when he was in boot camp (40 years ago), and notes from my (now grown) children.
I have one friend from elementary school who, like clockwork, sends a card with a handwritten note for holidays, birthday, and random special occasions (she sent me a card when I bought my new house a few years ago even though we haven’t seen each other since high school in 1985). From what I gathered, she does this for most of our elementary and highschool group who she was able to keep in touch with.
I think it’s time I sent a few cards out myself. Thanks for the reminder!
Suzanne, your friend sounds amazing. She must get pleasure herself from all her efforts!
I love this hard! I do hand write letters to a few woman ‘round the world. Two, in particular, whom I’ve really connected with. My once architect’s worthy cursive has degenerated with age and arthritis etc. so now I print but ‘tis a labour of love! In fact, I’m going to write a letter to one today! It’s guaranteed to be 6-10 pages, and we both will write over several days if needs be. I’m always so excited to get a letter in return! And I do keep them — every last one!
Heather, looong letters are so wonderful. It's kind of like journaling; you can make as many detours as you like as you relate your news.
It started out as a group to talk about one thing — but we share our lives!
Growing up I moved around every couple of years and kept in touch with friends via letters. At first it started as complaints about how much everything about my new home sucked. The new school, the kids, how much I missed everything. And then I’d make friends and the letters would be less often. And then we’d move again and the cycle would continue. I still have the letters I received somewhere. Although I don’t write letters so often, I still send cards just because. (Ironically I don’t do Christmas cards - never get around to it) and when I travel I love sending postcards. I’m always reminded of a college friend who during finals week sent us all a postcard of our school’s library with the words “having a “wonderful” time wish you were here.
Hi Maryse, love that you’ve kept your letters! I forgot to say that I ALWAYS send Xmas cards (nowadays with a photo of our grandchildren). By now it’s a habit… not sure it counts in the same way as a handwritten, personal letter.
I always mean to send Xmas cards. Then think “I’ll send new year’s cards” then valentines but it never happens. Maybe it’s the feeling of obligation that turns me off. And I guess I could send pictures of my cats 😂
Hi Debbie! Handwritten letters are wonderful. There's a hunger out there. A while back I did the Letter A Day project, where I wrote one letter per day to anyone who asked. Our local paper in Atlanta covered it, the story got syndicated, and I ended up with more than 600 requests from 39 states and 17 other countries. Unexpected benefit: a huge quantity of replies!
https://video.pba.org/video/atlanta-alicia-steele-letter-day-project/
Randy, what a cool project! I have a soft spot for Atlanta as I lived there for five years and started my journalism career there, first with the Jonesboro News Daily (now https://www.news-daily.com/) and then with The Atlanta Constitution. Have you now written more than 600 letters? What kind of people requested them? From different countries? Did you have a "template" for answering?? Just curious! Seems like a project that could yield some interesting insights!
Card going into the mail :-)
Jenn, so exciting!!
LOL, I don't know if I can live up to exciting, but here's hoping it will be pleasant, anyway!
Look for a postcard in the mail! Loved this.
oh my goodness, can’t wait!
Yes, I love writing and receiving handwritten letters! I have decluttered over the years, but hang on to the letters. They’re so valuable in jogging my memory and helping my writing practice.
I love handwritten letters so much that I even keep one from someone from the state. Long story short, I was dealing with two agencies who were not communicating, so I skipped the line and wrote to one “out of sequence.” The reprimand was a full page of scratchy writing, but someone took the time to be angry with me.
Rachielle, angry letters as well as love letters… what a wonderful story!
I love all of this, as someone who was an avid pen pal as a teenager after my best friend moved away. I send cards to friends and family all the time and still send them to my boyfriend even though we live together because he told me he likes getting them. He’s a minimalist and doesn’t keep too much but has all the dozens of cards I’ve sent him and many are displayed in our glass-topped coffee table.
omg Rachel, love this!! love that you’re still writing cards, that your boyfriend is a minimalist, and that you display these missives under glass — what a cool idea!! Also, a huge thank you for becoming a paid subscriber. It means the world. 👏🙏
Loved this in every way, yes! I still write notes and letters but not as often as I’d like, this is a lovely reminder and a testament to how much impact sending and receiving a physical message can have. I do keep letters and cards, and my favorites are from my mum, who passed about 3 years ago. Even a short note in a birthday card means so much, she was funny and irreverent and I want to keep that going. ✍️
Mary, love the motivation from your mom and hope you'll write several notes this summer. Maybe I'll get one!
What a cool idea Debbie! I still write letters! I have a 96-yr old cousin who is sharp as a tack and now my oldest living relative. We 'correspond' on a regular basis. She loves receiving my letters and I love getting hers! It's such a wonderful, now old-fashioned, way to communicate. Of course, I AM a Gemini (we rule the written word, thanks to the god Mercury being our 'ruler,' so maybe it was 'written in the stars.'
Jeanine, interesting about the Gemini Zodiac sign! I did a bit of research and it sounds perfect... "Quick-witted and loose-tongued, language is the province of Gemini who is adept at writing poems, impersonating strangers, and committing perjury all with a characteristic flourish." Whoa... would love to get one of your letters!
I’ll work on it ! Do u remember the god Mercury from Greek gods? He was the prankster and the messenger god. The other parts—pretty funny! Mercury rules the sign Gemini.
Yes and yes. I still write letters, and I keep them. It gives me comfort to read my late mum’s handwriting, same for reading my grandmother’s and grandfather’s words.
As a teenager, I had a penpal in West Germany. We had met briefly and exchanged addresses when I was an exchange student in 1982. I kept all his letters (with cartoon drawings, cassettes of Neue Deutsche Welle music, anti-nuke stickers, etc.) in a shoebox.
Many years later, I found out that he had kept all my letters and drawings in a box, too.
Our 17-year-old son does not quite know what to make of these artifacts.
Caroline, what a wonderful story! Have you ever met up with him in person??
Oh! I was a bit too subtle, wasn't I.
We married in 1999. Our son will inherit the shoeboxes,
(and we still write each other letters)
Lovely idea!