In the last two weeks I had lunch with two different friends - of our age group - who both said that they need to find more to do to keep them busy. I think there are probably two groups - here comes a really big generalization - those who take on too much and at 'at capacity' and those who have more capacity but are trying to figure out how to have the right balance and would like to do more. I am happy to have a lot do - and sometimes feel at capacity - but then there are times of greater relaxation. I just spent 5 days 'isolating' after a Covid exposure - I did not get it - and really enjoyed quiet time to read, listen to podcasts, and recharge.
Sometimes I feel like we don’t just sit back and relax. Let others take on the hard work. This afternoon I went to a meeting. Everyone arrived with notebooks and pencils poised! Not only didn’t I take notes but I also didn’t try to run the group or sign up for unnecessary volunteer follow up activities.
Looking forward to a relaxing afternoon reading a book!
Busyness has become such a status symbol in our drivy & always producing cultures, and I truly believe it is detrimental to our health (mental and physical), our communities' health and our planet. My form of activism is slowing down and actually living my life! :)
JR, I so agree. I do think this way of living is detrimental to both our personal lives AND to the planet. If I (and others) don’t slow down enough to notice the beauty of ordinary things, how can we protect those things? That said, I do slow down sometimes. (Though not this week!) To everyone, JR is the talented producer of my podcast. We hope you’ll listen to today’s episode! https://gapyearforgrownups.simplecast.com/episodes/dale-russakoff
"She was a force to be reckoned with, in so many ways. But this meant she was always in a hurry. She never had time to sit down and talk (something I deeply wished for), or just “be.” Her busyness made her inaccessible, and it was frustrating." -- I feel this so deeply about my mom and her (now passed) mom. I don't blame them, but I have always had that same longing for them to just "be" with me.
Your stage production sounds like such a great project/event! It reminds me of the now-defunct Listen to Your Mother project. There's something so powerful about women telling their stories.
My mom (turned 80 last year) and my dad have been busier in retirement than they were in earlier years, and they prepped me for the busy-ness that can be part of this stage of life. I "retired" from my career as an educator 2.5 years ago, but I put that word in quotation marks because I turned right around and got a part-time teaching job. I've realized that retiring is a process, not an event. A head injury in November required me to stop everything for several weeks in the thick of the December holidays, and that was a wake up call in more ways than one. I realized that as much as I'd talked and written about wanting to live a slower life (the whole reason I retired earlier than planned!), I was still too busy and still too-stressed. (When you're kinda grateful for the injury that's taken you out of your life, it means something is out of whack!) It's a challenge because there are so many things I am interested in and want to do, and now I have the time to do things long-deferred by work I had to do for pay. Mostly, I think I'm lucky to have this kind of "problem," and that it is testament to how rich this stage of life can be.
I just had another baby (my 4th) and I LOVED the slow-down of late pregnancy and early postpartum. I've been noticing a tendency to feel guilty about getting busy again--an inclination to punish myself for 'missing' this baby time. But I love many things: exercise, writing, community-building. I'm being careful not to jump headlong into busyness as an addiction/ compulsion (which I was definitely practicing up until the middle of this last pregnancy) while also realizing that different forms of work and play light me up in valuable ways. I'm trying to hold onto variety because it makes everything better, while also building in deliberate periods of contemplative quiet--what I'm calling "sacred returns." Moments when I am with my new baby, nursing, playing, having snacks with the other kids. Cooking dinner. Reading with them in bed. Weekend family walks in nature with the baby on my chest. In other words, there is room for all of it, if I am super intentional about every moment.
Isabel, thanks for your lovely description of your days with a new baby. I remember those clearly. You’re right - only by being “super intentional” can we (maybe) combat being overly busy!
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdb1d7636-a0e5-44ef-846d-a6df558eff16_1280x1280.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb939748d-5d80-4d0f-867c-2ed252ac633c_1344x256.png)
In the last two weeks I had lunch with two different friends - of our age group - who both said that they need to find more to do to keep them busy. I think there are probably two groups - here comes a really big generalization - those who take on too much and at 'at capacity' and those who have more capacity but are trying to figure out how to have the right balance and would like to do more. I am happy to have a lot do - and sometimes feel at capacity - but then there are times of greater relaxation. I just spent 5 days 'isolating' after a Covid exposure - I did not get it - and really enjoyed quiet time to read, listen to podcasts, and recharge.
Beth, I love this observation. I suspect you are right! The "too busy" subject line is meant to lure readers in...
Sometimes I feel like we don’t just sit back and relax. Let others take on the hard work. This afternoon I went to a meeting. Everyone arrived with notebooks and pencils poised! Not only didn’t I take notes but I also didn’t try to run the group or sign up for unnecessary volunteer follow up activities.
Looking forward to a relaxing afternoon reading a book!
Cooky, you nailed it. I’m going to plan such an afternoon soon. Now that I think about it, I don’t “let myself” do this unless I’m on vacation!
Busyness has become such a status symbol in our drivy & always producing cultures, and I truly believe it is detrimental to our health (mental and physical), our communities' health and our planet. My form of activism is slowing down and actually living my life! :)
ps: love the picture!!
JR, I so agree. I do think this way of living is detrimental to both our personal lives AND to the planet. If I (and others) don’t slow down enough to notice the beauty of ordinary things, how can we protect those things? That said, I do slow down sometimes. (Though not this week!) To everyone, JR is the talented producer of my podcast. We hope you’ll listen to today’s episode! https://gapyearforgrownups.simplecast.com/episodes/dale-russakoff
Yes! It was a wonderful conversation :) And I totally agree, some weeks are just CRA-ZY!!
"She was a force to be reckoned with, in so many ways. But this meant she was always in a hurry. She never had time to sit down and talk (something I deeply wished for), or just “be.” Her busyness made her inaccessible, and it was frustrating." -- I feel this so deeply about my mom and her (now passed) mom. I don't blame them, but I have always had that same longing for them to just "be" with me.
Erin, I feel such a pang of sadness, reading this. xx
Your stage production sounds like such a great project/event! It reminds me of the now-defunct Listen to Your Mother project. There's something so powerful about women telling their stories.
My mom (turned 80 last year) and my dad have been busier in retirement than they were in earlier years, and they prepped me for the busy-ness that can be part of this stage of life. I "retired" from my career as an educator 2.5 years ago, but I put that word in quotation marks because I turned right around and got a part-time teaching job. I've realized that retiring is a process, not an event. A head injury in November required me to stop everything for several weeks in the thick of the December holidays, and that was a wake up call in more ways than one. I realized that as much as I'd talked and written about wanting to live a slower life (the whole reason I retired earlier than planned!), I was still too busy and still too-stressed. (When you're kinda grateful for the injury that's taken you out of your life, it means something is out of whack!) It's a challenge because there are so many things I am interested in and want to do, and now I have the time to do things long-deferred by work I had to do for pay. Mostly, I think I'm lucky to have this kind of "problem," and that it is testament to how rich this stage of life can be.
Rita, you’re so right. If it takes a literal “blow to the head” to slow down, something is amiss!
What a great topic, Debbie and so on my mind!!
I just had another baby (my 4th) and I LOVED the slow-down of late pregnancy and early postpartum. I've been noticing a tendency to feel guilty about getting busy again--an inclination to punish myself for 'missing' this baby time. But I love many things: exercise, writing, community-building. I'm being careful not to jump headlong into busyness as an addiction/ compulsion (which I was definitely practicing up until the middle of this last pregnancy) while also realizing that different forms of work and play light me up in valuable ways. I'm trying to hold onto variety because it makes everything better, while also building in deliberate periods of contemplative quiet--what I'm calling "sacred returns." Moments when I am with my new baby, nursing, playing, having snacks with the other kids. Cooking dinner. Reading with them in bed. Weekend family walks in nature with the baby on my chest. In other words, there is room for all of it, if I am super intentional about every moment.
Isabel, thanks for your lovely description of your days with a new baby. I remember those clearly. You’re right - only by being “super intentional” can we (maybe) combat being overly busy!