Welcome back, [B]old Women! I want to hear from you today on the topic of aging disgracefully. Last time, we talked about how ambition changes (or doesn't!) as we age, and this week I'm curious about a different change, one of the sartorial sort.
This inspiration comes from a marvelous comment from my [B]OLD AGE chat by
who shared that she's a British Red Hatter. I had no idea what that meant until Frances explained that her Red Hat (she actually wears one!) is from “Warning,” a famous poem by Jenny Joseph. It starts like this:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me…
I’m not wearing a Red Hat yet... not totally shunning all convention, but I do pretty much dress as I please. That usually means blue jeans and a favorite top and, always, a cool scarf (I collect a new one on almost every trip).
WHAT ABOUT YOU?! Are you flouting the conventions of proper behavior and dress that you may have observed when you were younger?
At this point in the game, there are days when I don't bother getting out of my pajamas and robe. When it's time to go out and plant all those seedlings I started a few weeks ago, during one of my overly ambitious moments, I will dress in my grubbies. Although I am not in the mindset to try to impress anyone these days, There are times occasionally when I desire to play dress up. As a mother of five daughters, the girls will complement my intriguing styles. The funny thing is I can wear my daughters blue jeans, and another shirt, dress or skirt. It's convenient when we wear the same shoe size as well. I couldn't tell you what is stylish, trending, or what others think. I literally don't care at my wonderful age of 70. During my professional life, I would dress accordingly. Now, as a writer, there are times when I feel like I got dressed up if I put on my bra for the day. Obviously that is a plus!
When I was young and had a proper job (in an office) I wore heels every day. Today I ordered a pair of very ugly walking sandals. I am very excited by this.
LOL, I have never really dressed fashionably. I'm at the point where I have no idea whether pants are supposed to be skinny or flared, and I don't care. I wear hiking clothes, or sweatshirts and loose cotton pants, most days. I still wear my hair long and straight like a 1970s teenager. No makeup, ever--another way in which I have been out of step with my peers, but I always hated the way it felt on my skin, back when I tried it briefly in my teens.
I think my ruling principle can be summed up as: Comfort!
Sounds like you and I are on the same page Jenn. I never liked the feeling of makeup, it felt strangely heavy on my face. I wondered how good it was for my health as it slowly absorbed into the skin. I also haven't worn mascara in years. Mainly due to wearing contacts and concerns about infections. Not judging others, but it seems like it would be hard to deal with false eyelashes, somehow I see so many women halfway falling off when we stop to chat at the grocery store. Again, it's a personal preference for us as women, but I am loving my freedom of not giving a .... anymore.
Makeup seems like such a hassle! Many people use it as a form of artistic expression, and enjoy it. But I feel bad for those who'd rather not, but feel pressured, or even required by their jobs, to wear it.
That’s the spirit. I’m tired of articles on how to dress for your age. The older you are, the more boring the choices. Style has nothing to do with age.
My mother loved that poem and participated in a Red Hat Society group. I still have her hat, although I do not wear it. Despite that, she was one who wore the pant suits and blazers that were her professional look almost into her 80s. As for me, I am one of those whose body sags a bit in spots but otherwise is the same weight and shape as it was in high school. Plus I live IN HAWAIʻI - which means nice shorts with a blouse are considered work attire, as is every sort of resort wear that would have been considered way too provocative in my corporate days. I no longer wear bikinis though, that might be my one concession to my age.
Not flouting as much as wearing what gives me pleasure. I try to coordinate my clothing with fun shoes and a matching Apple Watch band. And bling. Lots of bling. Usually costume jewelry. And I have glasses made by paireyeware that have different magnetic tops so I can change the look with the flick of my wrist.
Also wearing heels when I never could before (was and is shorter than I am, so flats were required)
Sometimes I feel like I don’t dress age-appropriately: ripped jeans, a graphic T, and Converse or Docs, maybe a beanie if it’s a bad hair day. I have a red Ohio State beanie. However, I don’t think I could say what’s age-appropriate for someone in her 50s, though I feel like what I wear isn’t it.
Could it be that clothing is situational? When in Washington, DC, I had tailors who dressed me and sewed the skirts, slacks, suit coats, and formal wear to fit me exactly and softly. Nothing off the rack looked right or fit my extra long arms and extra long inseam. I felt like I belonged everywhere in those clothes and what kind of price can you put on style, grace, confidence and the ability to stay out of my own head and focus totally on those you are serving? Moved to Texas after 60 and the daily dress here is jeans that fit just right and whatever stays cool when temps hover in the 90-100 range for several months.
I wore a red felt fedora with a black feather and veil in the late 70's when I was in my early 20's. I collected felt hats with feathers and veils back then and wore them often. These days, at 67, I wear jeans, t-shirts, oversized blouses, crystal necklaces and bracelets, clogs or birks. Comfortably stylish is my style and had been my style for a long time.
If only we could post photos here. I’d love to show you the red hat from my vibrant collection. Hats are kind to the aging face and it takes an older woman’s panache to wear them well. I shunned hats until my mother, a hat person, died just before my 40th birthday. Now I don’t leave home without a hat.
There is one thing I won't do now that I am turning 80. That is never go into coffee chains where there are old people sitting having a cuppa. Want to be with the young, as it makes me feel young. I also dress in a modern fashion without being flamboyant! So sorry, but I am in denial!
YES , Celebrate! We need to stop apologising for being old and start being Badass. To me, that’s not about clothes but about attitude (or perhaps I should write Attitude!)
Thank you for the mention Debbie! I have always been a bit of an eccentric dresser. In fact , when I was younger my brother locked me in the toilet and refused to let me out until a gave him a threepenny bit, and I must also promise to dress in a proper way, because I was apparently embarrassing him in front of his friends!
I love my Red Hatting, which is a “thing” worldwide. There is nothing as beneficial as a group of women putting the world to rights over lunch and a glass of wine, or 2!
The ONLY rule we have is the wearing of the Red Hat, and purple dress. I’ve been doing this for over 10 years now, and do confess to having a collection of Red Hats, at the last count …12😆
No serious conventions flouted here, although I did wear a purple sweater yesterday minus the red hat. I am a jeans and t-shirt old lady. I do like to sit in odd positions which is a problem when I forget I am wearing a dress.
And I sat on the floor of the Eurostar terminal recently when there were no seats, but no one said a word! Perhaps I look like a natural floor sitter!
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdb1d7636-a0e5-44ef-846d-a6df558eff16_1280x1280.png)
![[B]OLD AGE with Debbie Weil](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb939748d-5d80-4d0f-867c-2ed252ac633c_1344x256.png)
At this point in the game, there are days when I don't bother getting out of my pajamas and robe. When it's time to go out and plant all those seedlings I started a few weeks ago, during one of my overly ambitious moments, I will dress in my grubbies. Although I am not in the mindset to try to impress anyone these days, There are times occasionally when I desire to play dress up. As a mother of five daughters, the girls will complement my intriguing styles. The funny thing is I can wear my daughters blue jeans, and another shirt, dress or skirt. It's convenient when we wear the same shoe size as well. I couldn't tell you what is stylish, trending, or what others think. I literally don't care at my wonderful age of 70. During my professional life, I would dress accordingly. Now, as a writer, there are times when I feel like I got dressed up if I put on my bra for the day. Obviously that is a plus!
Lots of colour! That’s my motto. In my artwork and in my wardrobe! Rainbow 🌈 colours! NO BEIGE and NO GREIGE!! Absolutely none!!!
Dawn, I’m with you - I love bright colors.
Absolutely 💯 🌈😊
When I was young and had a proper job (in an office) I wore heels every day. Today I ordered a pair of very ugly walking sandals. I am very excited by this.
me too!! post a pic
As soon as they arrive!
LOL, I have never really dressed fashionably. I'm at the point where I have no idea whether pants are supposed to be skinny or flared, and I don't care. I wear hiking clothes, or sweatshirts and loose cotton pants, most days. I still wear my hair long and straight like a 1970s teenager. No makeup, ever--another way in which I have been out of step with my peers, but I always hated the way it felt on my skin, back when I tried it briefly in my teens.
I think my ruling principle can be summed up as: Comfort!
Sounds like you and I are on the same page Jenn. I never liked the feeling of makeup, it felt strangely heavy on my face. I wondered how good it was for my health as it slowly absorbed into the skin. I also haven't worn mascara in years. Mainly due to wearing contacts and concerns about infections. Not judging others, but it seems like it would be hard to deal with false eyelashes, somehow I see so many women halfway falling off when we stop to chat at the grocery store. Again, it's a personal preference for us as women, but I am loving my freedom of not giving a .... anymore.
Makeup seems like such a hassle! Many people use it as a form of artistic expression, and enjoy it. But I feel bad for those who'd rather not, but feel pressured, or even required by their jobs, to wear it.
I’m 61. I don’t know what is age appropriate. I just wear what I like.
That’s the spirit. I’m tired of articles on how to dress for your age. The older you are, the more boring the choices. Style has nothing to do with age.
Let Iris Arpel be our muse!!!
My mother loved that poem and participated in a Red Hat Society group. I still have her hat, although I do not wear it. Despite that, she was one who wore the pant suits and blazers that were her professional look almost into her 80s. As for me, I am one of those whose body sags a bit in spots but otherwise is the same weight and shape as it was in high school. Plus I live IN HAWAIʻI - which means nice shorts with a blouse are considered work attire, as is every sort of resort wear that would have been considered way too provocative in my corporate days. I no longer wear bikinis though, that might be my one concession to my age.
Always loved flats, now more than ever!
I love this poem. 💕
Not flouting as much as wearing what gives me pleasure. I try to coordinate my clothing with fun shoes and a matching Apple Watch band. And bling. Lots of bling. Usually costume jewelry. And I have glasses made by paireyeware that have different magnetic tops so I can change the look with the flick of my wrist.
Also wearing heels when I never could before (was and is shorter than I am, so flats were required)
*wasband is shorter…
Sometimes I feel like I don’t dress age-appropriately: ripped jeans, a graphic T, and Converse or Docs, maybe a beanie if it’s a bad hair day. I have a red Ohio State beanie. However, I don’t think I could say what’s age-appropriate for someone in her 50s, though I feel like what I wear isn’t it.
Mini skirts, go-go boots.
Could it be that clothing is situational? When in Washington, DC, I had tailors who dressed me and sewed the skirts, slacks, suit coats, and formal wear to fit me exactly and softly. Nothing off the rack looked right or fit my extra long arms and extra long inseam. I felt like I belonged everywhere in those clothes and what kind of price can you put on style, grace, confidence and the ability to stay out of my own head and focus totally on those you are serving? Moved to Texas after 60 and the daily dress here is jeans that fit just right and whatever stays cool when temps hover in the 90-100 range for several months.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t dress age-appropriately. Ripped jeans, a graphic T, and Converse or Docs, maybe a beanie if it’s a bad hair day.
I wore a red felt fedora with a black feather and veil in the late 70's when I was in my early 20's. I collected felt hats with feathers and veils back then and wore them often. These days, at 67, I wear jeans, t-shirts, oversized blouses, crystal necklaces and bracelets, clogs or birks. Comfortably stylish is my style and had been my style for a long time.
I'm a hat girl. I have a red plaid newsboy cap and I love my slouchy beanies.
Haven't worn a mini skirt in 30 years. I do love my over the knee boots and my favorite sweater says, Sistah.
I wear cowboy hats - I've got a felt one for cool weather and a couple of straw ones for summer.
Sorry…I can’t post photos…😥
If only we could post photos here. I’d love to show you the red hat from my vibrant collection. Hats are kind to the aging face and it takes an older woman’s panache to wear them well. I shunned hats until my mother, a hat person, died just before my 40th birthday. Now I don’t leave home without a hat.
There is one thing I won't do now that I am turning 80. That is never go into coffee chains where there are old people sitting having a cuppa. Want to be with the young, as it makes me feel young. I also dress in a modern fashion without being flamboyant! So sorry, but I am in denial!
Jane, I confess that I’m a bit of a denier (of old age), but more recently I’m trying to become a celebrator!
YES , Celebrate! We need to stop apologising for being old and start being Badass. To me, that’s not about clothes but about attitude (or perhaps I should write Attitude!)
Ann, I agree with you. It's all about attitude!!!
Thank you for the mention Debbie! I have always been a bit of an eccentric dresser. In fact , when I was younger my brother locked me in the toilet and refused to let me out until a gave him a threepenny bit, and I must also promise to dress in a proper way, because I was apparently embarrassing him in front of his friends!
I love my Red Hatting, which is a “thing” worldwide. There is nothing as beneficial as a group of women putting the world to rights over lunch and a glass of wine, or 2!
The ONLY rule we have is the wearing of the Red Hat, and purple dress. I’ve been doing this for over 10 years now, and do confess to having a collection of Red Hats, at the last count …12😆
do you have photos?!
I don’t think I can add photos? If anyone knows how please let us know!
But will Substack let us post them?
Post the photo to Notes and link to Debbie's post here.
No serious conventions flouted here, although I did wear a purple sweater yesterday minus the red hat. I am a jeans and t-shirt old lady. I do like to sit in odd positions which is a problem when I forget I am wearing a dress.
And I sat on the floor of the Eurostar terminal recently when there were no seats, but no one said a word! Perhaps I look like a natural floor sitter!
I like your forgetfulness, Ann.