Should I Write or Podcast - or Both?

Solo essay writing is not much fun compared to podcasting. In fact, it's painful.

There are so many reasons I find writing painful. It’s solitary. It’s lonely. I procrastinate (and flagellate myself). I fret about being judged and found lacking. Whatever I’m working on, I can’t get it right. I get stuck. It doesn’t “say” what I’m trying to express. Or maybe I’m figuring that out and it takes a while.

Good writing is hard.

But I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was in Second Grade. I’ve been writing and editing for 45 years, as a journalist, an author, a blogger, a book coach. That’s a lot of experience. And I guess I’m an expert.

So I set the bar pretty high when it comes to writing.

But oh gosh, I have to tell you that creating and hosting a podcast is a whole lot more fun than writing. Sure there are many steps involved to produce each podcast episode, and it takes time and work. But I don’t mind.

Read Part II of this essay on What is work, what is important, what brings joy

Podcasting is collaborative by definition. It’s not solitary. It’s not lonely. I enjoy doing the research for each episode (reading an expert’s book, Googling for info, taking tons of notes).

It’s fun to interview guests (those journalism skills come in handy). And now that I’ve been podcasting for almost five years, I know how to make the interviews feel like conversations. I love my producer, Julie-Roxane, and bouncing around ideas for guests and topics with her.

A good podcast episode is like live theater with improv thrown in. When the magic happens, it’s usually because a guest says something that goes right to the heart of the matter and something clicks into place. I hear it. The listener gets it. We all feel it.

Importantly, I don’t set the bar as high when I’m podcasting. I’m still learning. I’m still in beginner’s mode. Every episode is an experiment so it’s okay to make mistakes.

Sometimes a podcast episode doesn’t quite work, whether it’s my direction of the conversation or the chemistry with the guest. No matter. My refrain (Julie-Roxane always reminds me) is on to the next episode.

Why am I telling you this?

I’m well aware that podcasting and writing are two different mediums — one of orderly words on a page, the other of a good conversation in your ear. Both are forms of creative expression that take work.

So what’s the problem?

Why this lament, right now, at the end of the summer?

When my podcast goes on hiatus, I use it as time off for unpressured thinking, for generating new ideas, for resting my brain.

Walking on the beach in Maine to regenerate! Photo by Alicia Allen Photography.

Instead, I started this summer full of ambition. I should go deeper on this whole aging thing, I told myself. I should use this fallow time to write about it on a more personal level. Because I’m a writer!

On some level, I believe that writing is a more important endeavor than podcasting. It’s how I work out an idea and discover what I’m really thinking. (Other writer/podcasters agree with me.) And then hand that over to you with diamond sharp clarity.

Ha! That is a very high bar. It doesn’t always happen.

I know, with the bit of wisdom I’m accruing at 71, that a lot of things that once seemed vitally important are really not. I don’t need to be a great writer — every time I publish. I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t need to be famous.

I do need to find joy, to experiment, and to get back into beginner’s mind when I write. I’m working on it.

Thanks for bearing with me while I struggle a bit. And complain too much. Your support and interest mean the world.