Granny, when were you happiest?

My 12-year-old granddaughter asks a good question that reminds me to accept the truth about core identity: who I am NOW is who I was THEN

🌹🌻 This is an “Ask Granny” edition of my Ask Debbie series, where I invite paid subscribers to AMA (ask me anything) about old age, and I answer in depth. Happy Spring to all.

“Granny, what is your favorite age you ever were?” - Ruthie, age 12

A year ago, post birthday cake, my granddaughter Ruthie was lolling on the floor to digest, and to savor the occasion. Suddenly she said, “Granny, in sixty years I’ll be your age!” She was newly 12; I was 72 at the time. She continued, “And you’ll be how old? Oh… maybe not… “

Ruthie, who is now turning 13, is a seeker, full of curiosity; she’s known to ask unexpected questions and what if’s. Recently, she asked what my favorite food was as a child, that I still like now. That one’s easy: freshly-baked, warm chocolate chip cookies. When she posed the “happiest, favorite age” question, I was tickled; it must mean that, on the verge of her teenhood, she sees me as a person, with a history, and not just a “grandmother.” I also knew this one deserved a longer answer, both for her and for me.

With granddaughter Ruthie, almost 13

Ruthie, many famous writers and thinkers have made observations about how hard it can be to recognize and appreciate yourself, and why it’s worth the effort to do so:

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. - Carl Jung

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerseon

But it was not until I paused to answer your question, and recalled myself as a child, that I realized how the clarity of childhood connects to my identity in [b]old age. Read on if you want to see a delightful photo of your grandmother in long braids…